jokes n sms

Q:) How does a cricketer describe a nude woman?

A:) No cover, no extra cover, two silly points, two fine legs and a gully.

Your wife is ur right hand..
but in the absence of ur wife..
ur right hand becomes your wife...

Men are like tape recorder.....

Forward,Backward,Forward,Backward,
Forward,Backward, stop Eject......

I luv when u go downon me
u relieve so much stress and
tension but when i feel it
gettin good u go back up.... .
damn gas prices!!!

I have good news the technology
of condoms has improved
there 4 mistakes like u
will never happen again.

Pass this on to other mistakes.

I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my teeth

Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....!

Penis & Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Everytime u go in u never bring us along, only u enjoy! Penis: Eh, U think its fun? I always keep vomiting!

I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark

*NEWSFLASH* Snow white had been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported 2 hav pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and shouted, 'LIE BASTARD LIE'

Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you

How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down.

A girl asked, why cow seems depressed when being milked? Teacher: if every morning they rub yours 4 30 minutes and don't f**k u, u will feel the same?

Man1: my wife is obsess w/ cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 'Ferari,Porsche...' Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & say 'Full Tank pls.'

Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!

When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And upon my headstone will be seen, here lies the bones of a f**king machine.

What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money..