Sex karo
Sex karo daily,
Agar wo mil jaye akeli,
agar na mile akeli to pakar lo us ki saheli,
agar na mile saheli to zindabad hatheli
lekin sex karo daily
DIFFRENT PHASES OF SEX LIFE:
AGE 20 - DIN RAAT,
AGE 28 - ROZ RAAT,
AGE 38 - JUMME RAAT,
AGE 48 - CHAND RAAT,
AGE 58 - ONLY JAZBAAT,
AGE 68 - GALAT BAAT...
Toothpaste & Boobs
What is the Similarity between Toothpaste & Boobs?
Guess ? its easy !!
U know the answer !!
Kholo.. Dabao... Muh me dalo aur Fresh ho jaao.
Mr Elahi had 3 sons named
rehmet-e-elahi,
barkat-e-elahi,
n mehbub-e-elahi
when his 4th son was born
his wife decided to name
him bus-kar-e-elahi
What did ramu say when he
saw a surgical glove?
Shaym lagta to condom hai
per draupdi ke zamane ka hai
Thursday, December 25, 2008
jokes n sms
A boy asked Airtel Girl
what is ur speciality?
Airtel Girl: Night time
incoming free!!
Bhagwan ko gussa kab
aata hai?
Jab kisi ladki ka rape
hone ke badd uski ma
bolti hai "HEY BHAGWAN
YE TUNE KYA KIYA...."
Teer Kya chalati ho dhaar
to TALWAR mein hai,
Teer Kya chalati ho dhaar
to TALWAR mein hai.
Dupatte se kya chupati ho,
maal to SALVAR mein hai!
On first night, husband said
2 his wife: "Look darling before
marriage I had slept wit 10
girls"
wife replied: Kundi mili hai
to gunn to milega hi.
Kele Wala: Kele lelo Kele,
MADAM: arey bhiya kele to
pilpile hain kadak aur
lambe do.
Kele Wala: Arey madam kabhi to
kahne ke liye liya karo
Kya aap SEX karte hai.....
Kya aap CONDOM use karte hai....
Kya aap AIDS se darte hai....
to aap HATH se kyun nahi karte hai...
HATH chale to AIDS tale
Qes: Why is Delhi a male city (Mahanagar)
and Mumbai a female city (Mahanagri) ? ? ?
Ans: Delhi has Qutab Minar while
Mumbai has Gateway of INDIA!
what is ur speciality?
Airtel Girl: Night time
incoming free!!
Bhagwan ko gussa kab
aata hai?
Jab kisi ladki ka rape
hone ke badd uski ma
bolti hai "HEY BHAGWAN
YE TUNE KYA KIYA...."
Teer Kya chalati ho dhaar
to TALWAR mein hai,
Teer Kya chalati ho dhaar
to TALWAR mein hai.
Dupatte se kya chupati ho,
maal to SALVAR mein hai!
On first night, husband said
2 his wife: "Look darling before
marriage I had slept wit 10
girls"
wife replied: Kundi mili hai
to gunn to milega hi.
Kele Wala: Kele lelo Kele,
MADAM: arey bhiya kele to
pilpile hain kadak aur
lambe do.
Kele Wala: Arey madam kabhi to
kahne ke liye liya karo
Kya aap SEX karte hai.....
Kya aap CONDOM use karte hai....
Kya aap AIDS se darte hai....
to aap HATH se kyun nahi karte hai...
HATH chale to AIDS tale
Qes: Why is Delhi a male city (Mahanagar)
and Mumbai a female city (Mahanagri) ? ? ?
Ans: Delhi has Qutab Minar while
Mumbai has Gateway of INDIA!
jokes n sms
Lady n shopkeepe r negotiating
for the price of Bra n Panty
Shopkeeper- bhabi g Bra mein
aapka raha.. lekin Panty mein
to aapko mera rakna padeg
A man phoned & asked:
"Hello, is it 221714?
Lady-Hindi me bolo,
Man:Do-Do-Ek-SaT Choda?
Lady-Nahi Sir,RELIANCE HAI.
Teen-Teen-Eksath chodha 331714
Baap: Kyun beta ladki pasand aayi tumhe?
Beta: Papa ladki toh bahut moti hai.
Baap: beta ghar kitana bhi bada ho,
darwaaja chota hi hota hai!
Press ask PM..
Aapne sapne me bhi socha tha ki
ap kabhi pm banege?
Manmohan : Ye to sab Sonia ke hath
ka kamal hai varna hamara to khada
hona bhi mushkil tha...!
kabira khada bazar me,
dekh oont ko roye,
itni unchi gaand ko,
maar sake na koy!
A bachelor gives an AD in a matrimonial.
"Wanted - Girl Age no bar,
looks no bar,
Money no bar,
But SEX Baar-baar,
Hazaar bar...........
Lagataar...........!
2 girls returning from movie
1st: mera purse chori ho gaya!
2nd Girl: tu to bra mein rakhti thi.
1st: mujhe kya pata tha SAALA chori
kar raha hai!
for the price of Bra n Panty
Shopkeeper- bhabi g Bra mein
aapka raha.. lekin Panty mein
to aapko mera rakna padeg
A man phoned & asked:
"Hello, is it 221714?
Lady-Hindi me bolo,
Man:Do-Do-Ek-SaT Choda?
Lady-Nahi Sir,RELIANCE HAI.
Teen-Teen-Eksath chodha 331714
Baap: Kyun beta ladki pasand aayi tumhe?
Beta: Papa ladki toh bahut moti hai.
Baap: beta ghar kitana bhi bada ho,
darwaaja chota hi hota hai!
Press ask PM..
Aapne sapne me bhi socha tha ki
ap kabhi pm banege?
Manmohan : Ye to sab Sonia ke hath
ka kamal hai varna hamara to khada
hona bhi mushkil tha...!
kabira khada bazar me,
dekh oont ko roye,
itni unchi gaand ko,
maar sake na koy!
A bachelor gives an AD in a matrimonial.
"Wanted - Girl Age no bar,
looks no bar,
Money no bar,
But SEX Baar-baar,
Hazaar bar...........
Lagataar...........!
2 girls returning from movie
1st: mera purse chori ho gaya!
2nd Girl: tu to bra mein rakhti thi.
1st: mujhe kya pata tha SAALA chori
kar raha hai!
jokes n sms
Sant kabir in computer...
"kahat 'kabir' suno bhai sadho"
aisa bhi din aayega,
chut chudegi computer se,
aur bacha fax se aayega"
Q: why should a girl should have an
extra covering and protection on her
boobs ?
Kyonki "CHEETAH BHI PEETA HAI...."
Sardar: Will u marry me?
Girl: Sorry im a lesbian
Sardar: what is a lesbian?
Girl: I like to have sex with girls.
Sardar: Wow im also a lesbian!
GIRL: maa baju waley ladkey
ko dekhar meri bra tight
ho jati hai.
MAA: beti ek bar bina bra
ki kammeej pahan kar ja,
uski pant tight ho jayegi!
Sardar asks CALL GIRL. How much?
She says 50 on bed,
20 on sofa, 10 on grass.
Sardar gives her 50.
She says wow, on bed?
Sardar, no 5 times on grass!!
Sardarni: Kal chor aya aur
mere sath sex karke chala
gaya.
Sardar: Tumne use roka nahi?
Sardarni: Bahot kaha rukne ke liye,
lekin woh bola aaj bas itna hi
kal phir aaunga.
A sardar and a girl were
having sex suddenly Sardar
asks - Do u have AIDS?
Girl: No. Sardar: thank god,
I dont wann to get that again!
Kabhi dost kehte the ki jaan
bhi maango to hazir hai, aaj
who apni biwi ko jaan kehte
hai, aur maango to inkaar
karte hai
"kahat 'kabir' suno bhai sadho"
aisa bhi din aayega,
chut chudegi computer se,
aur bacha fax se aayega"
Q: why should a girl should have an
extra covering and protection on her
boobs ?
Kyonki "CHEETAH BHI PEETA HAI...."
Sardar: Will u marry me?
Girl: Sorry im a lesbian
Sardar: what is a lesbian?
Girl: I like to have sex with girls.
Sardar: Wow im also a lesbian!
GIRL: maa baju waley ladkey
ko dekhar meri bra tight
ho jati hai.
MAA: beti ek bar bina bra
ki kammeej pahan kar ja,
uski pant tight ho jayegi!
Sardar asks CALL GIRL. How much?
She says 50 on bed,
20 on sofa, 10 on grass.
Sardar gives her 50.
She says wow, on bed?
Sardar, no 5 times on grass!!
Sardarni: Kal chor aya aur
mere sath sex karke chala
gaya.
Sardar: Tumne use roka nahi?
Sardarni: Bahot kaha rukne ke liye,
lekin woh bola aaj bas itna hi
kal phir aaunga.
A sardar and a girl were
having sex suddenly Sardar
asks - Do u have AIDS?
Girl: No. Sardar: thank god,
I dont wann to get that again!
Kabhi dost kehte the ki jaan
bhi maango to hazir hai, aaj
who apni biwi ko jaan kehte
hai, aur maango to inkaar
karte hai
jokes n sms
Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.
Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.
Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.
Ehasaaaaaaaan Kureshiiiiiiiiii ki latest kavita :
Roz college aati hooooooooooo
Dupatte se kya chupati hooooooooooo
Hum kya mar gaye hai janammmmmmmmmmmmm
jo kitabon se dabati hoooooooooooo
What is the saddest part of hindi film sholay????
Ek to thakur ki biwi hi nahi thi upar se gabbar ne uske hath bhi kaat diye....
On KBC, a prostitute was on the hot seat.
Amitabh: Madam aapko hamare show me sabse acchhi cheez kya lagti hai?
Prostitute gets EXCITED, lifts her skirt and says,
"FASTEST FINGER FIRST"
Q. Beta kya kaam karte ho?
Ans. Ji samaj seva karta Hoon.
Matlab!
Gire huve ko uthata hoon, Bichade huve ko Milata hoon
Kaise?
Bra banata hoon.
Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.
Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.
Ehasaaaaaaaan Kureshiiiiiiiiii ki latest kavita :
Roz college aati hooooooooooo
Dupatte se kya chupati hooooooooooo
Hum kya mar gaye hai janammmmmmmmmmmmm
jo kitabon se dabati hoooooooooooo
What is the saddest part of hindi film sholay????
Ek to thakur ki biwi hi nahi thi upar se gabbar ne uske hath bhi kaat diye....
On KBC, a prostitute was on the hot seat.
Amitabh: Madam aapko hamare show me sabse acchhi cheez kya lagti hai?
Prostitute gets EXCITED, lifts her skirt and says,
"FASTEST FINGER FIRST"
Q. Beta kya kaam karte ho?
Ans. Ji samaj seva karta Hoon.
Matlab!
Gire huve ko uthata hoon, Bichade huve ko Milata hoon
Kaise?
Bra banata hoon.
jokes n sms
Q:) How does a cricketer describe a nude woman?
A:) No cover, no extra cover, two silly points, two fine legs and a gully.
Your wife is ur right hand..
but in the absence of ur wife..
ur right hand becomes your wife...
Men are like tape recorder.....
Forward,Backward,Forward,Backward,
Forward,Backward, stop Eject......
I luv when u go downon me
u relieve so much stress and
tension but when i feel it
gettin good u go back up.... .
damn gas prices!!!
I have good news the technology
of condoms has improved
there 4 mistakes like u
will never happen again.
Pass this on to other mistakes.
I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my teeth
Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....!
Penis & Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Everytime u go in u never bring us along, only u enjoy! Penis: Eh, U think its fun? I always keep vomiting!
I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark
*NEWSFLASH* Snow white had been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported 2 hav pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and shouted, 'LIE BASTARD LIE'
Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!
CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you
How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down.
A girl asked, why cow seems depressed when being milked? Teacher: if every morning they rub yours 4 30 minutes and don't f**k u, u will feel the same?
Man1: my wife is obsess w/ cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 'Ferari,Porsche...' Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & say 'Full Tank pls.'
Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!
When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And upon my headstone will be seen, here lies the bones of a f**king machine.
What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money..
A:) No cover, no extra cover, two silly points, two fine legs and a gully.
Your wife is ur right hand..
but in the absence of ur wife..
ur right hand becomes your wife...
Men are like tape recorder.....
Forward,Backward,Forward,Backward,
Forward,Backward, stop Eject......
I luv when u go downon me
u relieve so much stress and
tension but when i feel it
gettin good u go back up.... .
damn gas prices!!!
I have good news the technology
of condoms has improved
there 4 mistakes like u
will never happen again.
Pass this on to other mistakes.
I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my teeth
Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....!
Penis & Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Everytime u go in u never bring us along, only u enjoy! Penis: Eh, U think its fun? I always keep vomiting!
I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark
*NEWSFLASH* Snow white had been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported 2 hav pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and shouted, 'LIE BASTARD LIE'
Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!
CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you
How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down.
A girl asked, why cow seems depressed when being milked? Teacher: if every morning they rub yours 4 30 minutes and don't f**k u, u will feel the same?
Man1: my wife is obsess w/ cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 'Ferari,Porsche...' Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & say 'Full Tank pls.'
Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!
When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And upon my headstone will be seen, here lies the bones of a f**king machine.
What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money..
jokes n sms
Man was smoking in a bus. Conductor: No Smoking ka
board nahin dikhta?
Man: Uske side mein ‘Always Wear Condom’ ka board
hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon?
board nahin dikhta?
Man: Uske side mein ‘Always Wear Condom’ ka board
hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon?
jokes n sms
Girl to her mother: Mama , main kaise paida hui thi?
Mother Baita tumhein pari le kar ayi thi.
Girl: Acha to papa pari ko bhi choda kartay thay?
zzat to ane jane wali chez hai FARAZ!!…
Bus gand pay kapra dale rakhna……;-)
Buzurgon ki kahi hui baat,
Aur
Tatton pe khai hui laat,
Hamesha yaad rehti hay,
“A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE”~
Man was smoking in a bus. Conductor: No Smoking ka
board nahin dikhta?
Man: Uske side mein ‘Always Wear Condom’ ka board
hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon?
Mother Baita tumhein pari le kar ayi thi.
Girl: Acha to papa pari ko bhi choda kartay thay?
zzat to ane jane wali chez hai FARAZ!!…
Bus gand pay kapra dale rakhna……;-)
Buzurgon ki kahi hui baat,
Aur
Tatton pe khai hui laat,
Hamesha yaad rehti hay,
“A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE”~
Man was smoking in a bus. Conductor: No Smoking ka
board nahin dikhta?
Man: Uske side mein ‘Always Wear Condom’ ka board
hai, ab vo bhi laga ke baithoon?
jokes n sms
Wife : Pehlay tum daily karte they phir weekly aur ab monthly karte ho .. Kyun ?
Husband : Pehle teri aisee thee {} .. Phir aisee thee { } .. Ab aisee hai { } .. Ab kia karoon aise {} ki talash mein dar dar ki thokrein khaa raha hoon.
Did u know meaning of WOMEN?
“W”ant
“O”ne
“M”an for
“E”very
“N”ight
2 pagal ja rahy thay in kay samnay say 1 oorat ja rahii thi is
nay aonai bra main bicket rakay hooe thay
1 pagal:ya kia ker rahii hay?????
2 pagal: yar samja ker na doodh main bicket deboo ker kha rahii hay
Husband : Pehle teri aisee thee {} .. Phir aisee thee { } .. Ab aisee hai { } .. Ab kia karoon aise {} ki talash mein dar dar ki thokrein khaa raha hoon.
Did u know meaning of WOMEN?
“W”ant
“O”ne
“M”an for
“E”very
“N”ight
2 pagal ja rahy thay in kay samnay say 1 oorat ja rahii thi is
nay aonai bra main bicket rakay hooe thay
1 pagal:ya kia ker rahii hay?????
2 pagal: yar samja ker na doodh main bicket deboo ker kha rahii hay
jokes n sms
English
I really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room. on my bed & lights off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
________________________________________
English
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
________________________________________
English Urdu Mix
Girl: Is dress ka kya price hai? Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss. Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss. Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill daadi dengi.
________________________________________
English
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite,
my lovely pyjamas
________________________________________
English
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful, intelligent, understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumor!
________________________________________
English
Come here,take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs.....toilet!
________________________________________
English
Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.
________________________________________
Urdu
1 boy 1 girl ko fuck ker raha tha fuck kertay kertay us ne girl se
poocha k tumhara boy friend kon hai hai girl ne reply kia choro us ma k kooos ko
wo is waqt yeh sms per raha hai ! ! !
Eik sardar ki suhag raat thi... Sardar apni bevi kay pechay dalnay laga to wo boli .... na na sardar jee pechay nahi agay sardar bola tumhain kaisay pata hai bevi boli... mera boy friend meray agay dalta tha Sardar bola... acha... par mera boy friend to meray pechay dalta tha...
________________________________________
English
3 Galz having lunch.
1st said" i saw d condoms in boss drawer. 2nd said: i also saw & punchered them. 3rd Said: HaramZadi pehle batana tha na !!
________________________________________
English
2 men were up bcoz their wifes were learning cars 1st:mere biwi raat ko lund pakar kar gear badalti hay 2nd:mere biwi tang utha ke k kahti hay5 litre
dal day
________________________________________
Urdu
JA "SMS" JA MERE PIYARY DOST KE PASS JA,
.
AGER WO BESSY HO TO RUK JAN,
.
OR "AGER" FREE HO TO UN KE GAND MAIN GHUS JANA,
.
OR TUB TAK HILLTY REHNA JUB TAK WO MUJHY
KOI ACHA SA SMS REPLY NA KERY
I really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room. on my bed & lights off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
________________________________________
English
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
________________________________________
English Urdu Mix
Girl: Is dress ka kya price hai? Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss. Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss. Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill daadi dengi.
________________________________________
English
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite,
my lovely pyjamas
________________________________________
English
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful, intelligent, understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumor!
________________________________________
English
Come here,take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs.....toilet!
________________________________________
English
Always start your day with a lot of... S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.
________________________________________
Urdu
1 boy 1 girl ko fuck ker raha tha fuck kertay kertay us ne girl se
poocha k tumhara boy friend kon hai hai girl ne reply kia choro us ma k kooos ko
wo is waqt yeh sms per raha hai ! ! !
Eik sardar ki suhag raat thi... Sardar apni bevi kay pechay dalnay laga to wo boli .... na na sardar jee pechay nahi agay sardar bola tumhain kaisay pata hai bevi boli... mera boy friend meray agay dalta tha Sardar bola... acha... par mera boy friend to meray pechay dalta tha...
________________________________________
English
3 Galz having lunch.
1st said" i saw d condoms in boss drawer. 2nd said: i also saw & punchered them. 3rd Said: HaramZadi pehle batana tha na !!
________________________________________
English
2 men were up bcoz their wifes were learning cars 1st:mere biwi raat ko lund pakar kar gear badalti hay 2nd:mere biwi tang utha ke k kahti hay5 litre
dal day
________________________________________
Urdu
JA "SMS" JA MERE PIYARY DOST KE PASS JA,
.
AGER WO BESSY HO TO RUK JAN,
.
OR "AGER" FREE HO TO UN KE GAND MAIN GHUS JANA,
.
OR TUB TAK HILLTY REHNA JUB TAK WO MUJHY
KOI ACHA SA SMS REPLY NA KERY
jokes n sms
Urdu
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kuch
na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
________________________________________
Urdu
Ik Larki thi dewaani si...
Ik Larkay pe wo mar...
Kuch lena tha usay...
Lakin pregnancy se wo darti thi
Jab bi milti thi muijhey.....
Ye hi pocha karti thi......
Ye "CONDOM" kAHAN SE MILTA HAI
Ye "CONDOM" kAHAN SE MILTA HAI
________________________________________
Urdu
fanta piyo,
pepsi piyo,
marinda piyo
coke piyo,
dew piyo,
pani piyo,piyo aur piyo
kiyun ke ab pampers sirf 99 rupai main
________________________________________
English
The most difficult golf course in the world is... "Women Hole" any
style you play... as many shots you try... & as much perfection you have... you
can never get your balls in...!!!
________________________________________
English
BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY, DRINK A FROOTY.... TAKE HER TO OOTY, REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY..AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
________________________________________
English
He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kuch
na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
________________________________________
Urdu
Ik Larki thi dewaani si...
Ik Larkay pe wo mar...
Kuch lena tha usay...
Lakin pregnancy se wo darti thi
Jab bi milti thi muijhey.....
Ye hi pocha karti thi......
Ye "CONDOM" kAHAN SE MILTA HAI
Ye "CONDOM" kAHAN SE MILTA HAI
________________________________________
Urdu
fanta piyo,
pepsi piyo,
marinda piyo
coke piyo,
dew piyo,
pani piyo,piyo aur piyo
kiyun ke ab pampers sirf 99 rupai main
________________________________________
English
The most difficult golf course in the world is... "Women Hole" any
style you play... as many shots you try... & as much perfection you have... you
can never get your balls in...!!!
________________________________________
English
BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY, DRINK A FROOTY.... TAKE HER TO OOTY, REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY..AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
________________________________________
English
He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
jokes n sms
English
A Peach is Peach, A Plum is Plum
A Kiss isn't a Kiss without some tongue
So Open your mouth, Close your eyes
and Give your tongue some exercise
________________________________________
English
Love is a Gambling, Don't play with it
Guys get fun, Girls get blame
10 minutes of fun, 9 months of pain
Then a baby comes out without any name.
Enjoy it or think it before you do it.
________________________________________
English
Similarity between Viagra & Rail reservation counter? Both make you
stand for 1 hour for a 2 minute job...
________________________________________
English
Modern medicines: Fucknostat, Sexprazole, Sucksproxyvon, Hugglofnac,
Kisstopache, Spermicidin, Breastajin, Ejaculatomol, Vaginalgin, Penisciloc,
Orgasmofen.
________________________________________
Urdu
Aayi thi diwali,
shuru Hui thand,
sikudi thi chut,
akade the lund
Aa gai holi,
chali gai thand,
khul gayi chut,
latak Gaye lund
________________________________________
Urdu
Lund pe aitbaar kisko hai,
Mil jaaye chodne ko to inkar kis ko hai,
Kuch mushkilen hai chut paane me dost Warna muth marne se pyaar kisko hai . . .
________________________________________
Urdu
On the wedding night Santa says: Bataao Hairan karoon ya Pareshan?
Jeeto: Dono.
He shows his tiny 1inch penis & says: Kyun hairani hui?
Jeeto: Ji Hui.
Hubby: Ab pareshan karoon?
Jeeto: Ji.
Santa: Yeh erect hai!
________________________________________
Urdu
Ladki K Baap Ne Vidai K Waqt Dulhe Se Kaha "Beta hamari Izzat Ab
Tumhare Haath Mein Hai.Dulha Bola:"Chinta Mat Kijiye Aaj Hi Loot Loonga!"
________________________________________
Urdu
Sardarni: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale
gaye.Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?Sardarni: bahot roka par bole ab aur taakat
nahi hai, kal aayenge
A Peach is Peach, A Plum is Plum
A Kiss isn't a Kiss without some tongue
So Open your mouth, Close your eyes
and Give your tongue some exercise
________________________________________
English
Love is a Gambling, Don't play with it
Guys get fun, Girls get blame
10 minutes of fun, 9 months of pain
Then a baby comes out without any name.
Enjoy it or think it before you do it.
________________________________________
English
Similarity between Viagra & Rail reservation counter? Both make you
stand for 1 hour for a 2 minute job...
________________________________________
English
Modern medicines: Fucknostat, Sexprazole, Sucksproxyvon, Hugglofnac,
Kisstopache, Spermicidin, Breastajin, Ejaculatomol, Vaginalgin, Penisciloc,
Orgasmofen.
________________________________________
Urdu
Aayi thi diwali,
shuru Hui thand,
sikudi thi chut,
akade the lund
Aa gai holi,
chali gai thand,
khul gayi chut,
latak Gaye lund
________________________________________
Urdu
Lund pe aitbaar kisko hai,
Mil jaaye chodne ko to inkar kis ko hai,
Kuch mushkilen hai chut paane me dost Warna muth marne se pyaar kisko hai . . .
________________________________________
Urdu
On the wedding night Santa says: Bataao Hairan karoon ya Pareshan?
Jeeto: Dono.
He shows his tiny 1inch penis & says: Kyun hairani hui?
Jeeto: Ji Hui.
Hubby: Ab pareshan karoon?
Jeeto: Ji.
Santa: Yeh erect hai!
________________________________________
Urdu
Ladki K Baap Ne Vidai K Waqt Dulhe Se Kaha "Beta hamari Izzat Ab
Tumhare Haath Mein Hai.Dulha Bola:"Chinta Mat Kijiye Aaj Hi Loot Loonga!"
________________________________________
Urdu
Sardarni: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale
gaye.Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?Sardarni: bahot roka par bole ab aur taakat
nahi hai, kal aayenge
jokes n sms
Urdu
her koi ker raha hai arman phudi ka
phudi pe mar raha hai insaan phudi ka
phudi bhi rabar ka lun bhi rabar ka
kiya kiya bana raha hai japan phudi ka
________________________________________
Urdu
Sardar dost say: Yar BV nu birthday tay ki gift dawan?
Dost: Apna Lun day.
Sardar: Nai yar koi wada gift das.
Dost: Far mera Lun day day
________________________________________
Urdu
PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain
SON : papa may bataoo
PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo
SON : may batata hoo ..... AANKH
PAPA : ohh haan
SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay
________________________________________
Urdu
AIK LERKA LERKI SAY: MAY KUNVARI LERKIYOO SAY SEX NAHI KERTA
LERKI : VO KIYOO
LERKA : KYOON K MUJHAY KHOON KHARABA PASAND NAHI HAI
________________________________________
Urdu
Eik sardar ki suhag raat thi...Sardar apni bevi kay pechay dalnay laga to wo
boli ....na na sardar jee pechay nahi agay
sardar bola tumhain kaisay pata hai
bevi boli...mera boy friend meray agay dalta tha
Sardar bola...acha...par mera boy friend to meray pechay dalta tha...
her koi ker raha hai arman phudi ka
phudi pe mar raha hai insaan phudi ka
phudi bhi rabar ka lun bhi rabar ka
kiya kiya bana raha hai japan phudi ka
________________________________________
Urdu
Sardar dost say: Yar BV nu birthday tay ki gift dawan?
Dost: Apna Lun day.
Sardar: Nai yar koi wada gift das.
Dost: Far mera Lun day day
________________________________________
Urdu
PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain
SON : papa may bataoo
PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo
SON : may batata hoo ..... AANKH
PAPA : ohh haan
SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay
________________________________________
Urdu
AIK LERKA LERKI SAY: MAY KUNVARI LERKIYOO SAY SEX NAHI KERTA
LERKI : VO KIYOO
LERKA : KYOON K MUJHAY KHOON KHARABA PASAND NAHI HAI
________________________________________
Urdu
Eik sardar ki suhag raat thi...Sardar apni bevi kay pechay dalnay laga to wo
boli ....na na sardar jee pechay nahi agay
sardar bola tumhain kaisay pata hai
bevi boli...mera boy friend meray agay dalta tha
Sardar bola...acha...par mera boy friend to meray pechay dalta tha...
jokes n sms
English
Richman to poorman- "How-come ur penis so big? Poorman-replied:
"B'coz in my childhood i had no other toys to play"!!!
________________________________________
English
Sardar wid Grandson.Late nite Shouts,"I need a Girl,I hv an
Erection!" Gson says,"1st its 2 Late,2nd ur 75yrs Old,3rd d Cock u holdin is
mine"
________________________________________
English
4 road signs which stands in front of a womans vagina....
1)Caution-dark tunnel. 2)Drive carefully-road wet n slippery. 3)Go slow.4) Men
at work
Cream ke Add main face dikhaya. Soap ke Add main Hath Dikhaya. Shampoo Ki Add main Baal Dikhaye. Per Always ki Add main kuch nahi dikhaya.
Thats Cheating
________________________________________
Urdu
Kiss Pan Chod ne Gand main ungali ki hai. Ager wo Maa ka lora samney aa jaye to us Kuri chod ko dekh loon. Sir, aapka student gand marwa le ga per kisi ko kabi gali nahi de ga ! !
________________________________________
English
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite, my lovely pyjamas
________________________________________
English
He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
________________________________________
English
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
________________________________________
Urdu
Sardar dost say: Yar BV nu birthday tay ki gift dawan?
Dost: Apna Lun day.
Sardar: Nai yar koi wada gift das.
Dost: Far mera Lun day day
________________________________________
Urdu
PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain
SON : papa may bataoo
PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo
SON : may batata hoo ..... AANKH
PAPA : ohh haan
SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay
Richman to poorman- "How-come ur penis so big? Poorman-replied:
"B'coz in my childhood i had no other toys to play"!!!
________________________________________
English
Sardar wid Grandson.Late nite Shouts,"I need a Girl,I hv an
Erection!" Gson says,"1st its 2 Late,2nd ur 75yrs Old,3rd d Cock u holdin is
mine"
________________________________________
English
4 road signs which stands in front of a womans vagina....
1)Caution-dark tunnel. 2)Drive carefully-road wet n slippery. 3)Go slow.4) Men
at work
Cream ke Add main face dikhaya. Soap ke Add main Hath Dikhaya. Shampoo Ki Add main Baal Dikhaye. Per Always ki Add main kuch nahi dikhaya.
Thats Cheating
________________________________________
Urdu
Kiss Pan Chod ne Gand main ungali ki hai. Ager wo Maa ka lora samney aa jaye to us Kuri chod ko dekh loon. Sir, aapka student gand marwa le ga per kisi ko kabi gali nahi de ga ! !
________________________________________
English
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite, my lovely pyjamas
________________________________________
English
He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
________________________________________
English
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
________________________________________
Urdu
Sardar dost say: Yar BV nu birthday tay ki gift dawan?
Dost: Apna Lun day.
Sardar: Nai yar koi wada gift das.
Dost: Far mera Lun day day
________________________________________
Urdu
PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain
SON : papa may bataoo
PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo
SON : may batata hoo ..... AANKH
PAPA : ohh haan
SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay
jokes n sms
Urdu
"HONEYMOON"
H-hawas mita do
O-or chuso
N-nanga karke
E-ek hi jhatke mein
Y-yeh gaya
M-mar dala
O-or dalo
O-or tez
N-ni..k..a.. l...g..a. y..a
________________________________________
English
Q: Wats d definition of a 'lesbian?' A: Just another damn Woman.....
tryin 2 do a man's job!!!.
________________________________________
English
Qus: Who is senior,
PENIS or VAGINA.
A:VAGINA
b'cos PENIS always stands up when he sees a VAGINA..So respect the seniors!
________________________________________
English
During sexual session the girl says:"u r like a mobile phone!"Boy:
"Do I vibrate a lot?" Girl:"No,when u get in 2 d tunnel u loose network
________________________________________
Urdu
Patni ne Arz kiya hai ki....
"Zara Dhire se CHODO Sanam,
Mehangai ka Zamana hai..
2 inch ki Chut ko Zindagi Bhar Chalana hai.
________________________________________
English
Richman to poorman- "How-come ur penis so big? Poorman-replied:
"B'coz in my childhood i had no other toys to play"!!!
________________________________________
English
Sardar wid Grandson.Late nite Shouts,"I need a Girl,I hv an
Erection!" Gson says,"1st its 2 Late,2nd ur 75yrs Old,3rd d Cock u holdin is
mine"
________________________________________
English
4 road signs which stands in front of a womans vagina....
1)Caution-dark tunnel. 2)Drive carefully-road wet n slippery. 3)Go slow.4) Men
at work
Cream ke Add main face dikhaya. Soap ke Add main Hath Dikhaya. Shampoo Ki Add main Baal Dikhaye. Per Always ki Add main kuch nahi dikhaya.
Thats Cheating
________________________________________
Urdu
Kiss Pan Chod ne Gand main ungali ki hai. Ager wo Maa ka lora samney aa jaye to us Kuri chod ko dekh loon. Sir, aapka student gand marwa le ga per kisi ko kabi gali nahi de ga ! !
________________________________________
English
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite, my lovely pyjamas
"HONEYMOON"
H-hawas mita do
O-or chuso
N-nanga karke
E-ek hi jhatke mein
Y-yeh gaya
M-mar dala
O-or dalo
O-or tez
N-ni..k..a.. l...g..a. y..a
________________________________________
English
Q: Wats d definition of a 'lesbian?' A: Just another damn Woman.....
tryin 2 do a man's job!!!.
________________________________________
English
Qus: Who is senior,
PENIS or VAGINA.
A:VAGINA
b'cos PENIS always stands up when he sees a VAGINA..So respect the seniors!
________________________________________
English
During sexual session the girl says:"u r like a mobile phone!"Boy:
"Do I vibrate a lot?" Girl:"No,when u get in 2 d tunnel u loose network
________________________________________
Urdu
Patni ne Arz kiya hai ki....
"Zara Dhire se CHODO Sanam,
Mehangai ka Zamana hai..
2 inch ki Chut ko Zindagi Bhar Chalana hai.
________________________________________
English
Richman to poorman- "How-come ur penis so big? Poorman-replied:
"B'coz in my childhood i had no other toys to play"!!!
________________________________________
English
Sardar wid Grandson.Late nite Shouts,"I need a Girl,I hv an
Erection!" Gson says,"1st its 2 Late,2nd ur 75yrs Old,3rd d Cock u holdin is
mine"
________________________________________
English
4 road signs which stands in front of a womans vagina....
1)Caution-dark tunnel. 2)Drive carefully-road wet n slippery. 3)Go slow.4) Men
at work
Cream ke Add main face dikhaya. Soap ke Add main Hath Dikhaya. Shampoo Ki Add main Baal Dikhaye. Per Always ki Add main kuch nahi dikhaya.
Thats Cheating
________________________________________
Urdu
Kiss Pan Chod ne Gand main ungali ki hai. Ager wo Maa ka lora samney aa jaye to us Kuri chod ko dekh loon. Sir, aapka student gand marwa le ga per kisi ko kabi gali nahi de ga ! !
________________________________________
English
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite, my lovely pyjamas
jokes n sms
Urdu
Aayi thi diwali,
shuru Hui thand,
sikudi thi chut,
akade the lund
Aa gai holi,
chali gai thand,
khul gayi chut,
latak Gaye lund
________________________________________
Urdu
dekho eik couple sex kar raha hai
ah
oh
dheere
ah
mar gayi
ah
oh
ahah
chal ab bas kar
1 rupee k sms mein kya pori blue film dikhaon
________________________________________
English Mix Urdu
Bhosri Plaza Hotel
'MENU CARD'
Grilled mummay;
Achari lund;
Phuddi of the day;
Tandoori bund
Lullian sirkay waali:
Chilly choot;
Tattay mughlai;
Gori bund da halwa;
Nargisi tattay;
Phuddi pakoray;
Lund folooda;
Mard makhan naan;
Afghani gand kabab;
Daigay mammay;
Lund khara masala;
Bhosri fried rice;
Melted tutti cream;
Peeshab up;
Aayi thi diwali,
shuru Hui thand,
sikudi thi chut,
akade the lund
Aa gai holi,
chali gai thand,
khul gayi chut,
latak Gaye lund
________________________________________
Urdu
dekho eik couple sex kar raha hai
ah
oh
dheere
ah
mar gayi
ah
oh
ahah
chal ab bas kar
1 rupee k sms mein kya pori blue film dikhaon
________________________________________
English Mix Urdu
Bhosri Plaza Hotel
'MENU CARD'
Grilled mummay;
Achari lund;
Phuddi of the day;
Tandoori bund
Lullian sirkay waali:
Chilly choot;
Tattay mughlai;
Gori bund da halwa;
Nargisi tattay;
Phuddi pakoray;
Lund folooda;
Mard makhan naan;
Afghani gand kabab;
Daigay mammay;
Lund khara masala;
Bhosri fried rice;
Melted tutti cream;
Peeshab up;
jokes n sms
Urdu
AIK LERKA LERKI SAY: MAY KUNVARI LERKIYOO SAY SEX NAHI KERTA
LERKI : VO KIYOO
LERKA : KYOON K MUJHAY KHOON KHARABA PASAND NAHI HAI
________________________________________
Urdu
Eik sardar ki suhag raat thi...Sardar apni bevi kay pechay dalnay laga to wo
boli ....na na sardar jee pechay nahi agay
sardar bola tumhain kaisay pata hai
bevi boli...mera boy friend meray agay dalta tha
Sardar bola...acha...par mera boy friend to meray pechay dalta tha...
________________________________________
Urdu
Girl MOM se jab main susu karte hun tu siti ki awaz ati hai par ap
ki nahi ati kiun?
MOM replies : baita siti tu maire b bajti the lekin tere bap ne baja baja
kar kharab kardi.
________________________________________
Urdu
Abi Rakha Hi Tha Ka Chot Gya,Hath Sa Phol Golab Ka. Wo Kahti Thi
Agha Sa Nahin Pacha Sa karo, Didar Mara Hosana Sabab Ka.Wo Kahti Thi Bara Dard
Hota Hai Jub Ander Jahta Hai, Ik Ik Alfaz Janab Ka.
________________________________________
English
How To Teach Mathmatics To A Girl.
1st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point.
________________________________________
Urdu
Gandoo ki 3 nishaniyan:
1. Hamesha bewaqt miss call dega.
2. Gande Gande SMS muskra kar parhe ga.
3. Don't scroll down:
Jis baat ko mana karo wo zaroor kare ga.
AIK LERKA LERKI SAY: MAY KUNVARI LERKIYOO SAY SEX NAHI KERTA
LERKI : VO KIYOO
LERKA : KYOON K MUJHAY KHOON KHARABA PASAND NAHI HAI
________________________________________
Urdu
Eik sardar ki suhag raat thi...Sardar apni bevi kay pechay dalnay laga to wo
boli ....na na sardar jee pechay nahi agay
sardar bola tumhain kaisay pata hai
bevi boli...mera boy friend meray agay dalta tha
Sardar bola...acha...par mera boy friend to meray pechay dalta tha...
________________________________________
Urdu
Girl MOM se jab main susu karte hun tu siti ki awaz ati hai par ap
ki nahi ati kiun?
MOM replies : baita siti tu maire b bajti the lekin tere bap ne baja baja
kar kharab kardi.
________________________________________
Urdu
Abi Rakha Hi Tha Ka Chot Gya,Hath Sa Phol Golab Ka. Wo Kahti Thi
Agha Sa Nahin Pacha Sa karo, Didar Mara Hosana Sabab Ka.Wo Kahti Thi Bara Dard
Hota Hai Jub Ander Jahta Hai, Ik Ik Alfaz Janab Ka.
________________________________________
English
How To Teach Mathmatics To A Girl.
1st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point.
________________________________________
Urdu
Gandoo ki 3 nishaniyan:
1. Hamesha bewaqt miss call dega.
2. Gande Gande SMS muskra kar parhe ga.
3. Don't scroll down:
Jis baat ko mana karo wo zaroor kare ga.
jokes n sms
English
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
________________________________________
English
SEASON DHAMAKA OFFER
Send your girlfriend to me and win a baby
HURRY UP
First ten will get twins
English
I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...
________________________________________
English
1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, da elephant looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask da naked man, 'HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT LITTLE THING?'
________________________________________
English
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
________________________________________
English
A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $$$ per minute.
________________________________________
English
How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!
________________________________________
English
Of all the babes u r my selection please dont giv me a rejection. my teeth are clean for ur Inspection so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
________________________________________
English
Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
________________________________________
English
What is hard and long and full of semen? >>> Submarine <<<
________________________________________
English
He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!
________________________________________
English
I want triplets You want twins. Lets get in bed and see who wins!
________________________________________
English
If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
________________________________________
English
SEASON DHAMAKA OFFER
Send your girlfriend to me and win a baby
HURRY UP
First ten will get twins
English
I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...
________________________________________
English
1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, da elephant looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask da naked man, 'HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT LITTLE THING?'
________________________________________
English
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
________________________________________
English
A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $$$ per minute.
________________________________________
English
How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!
________________________________________
English
Of all the babes u r my selection please dont giv me a rejection. my teeth are clean for ur Inspection so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
________________________________________
English
Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
________________________________________
English
What is hard and long and full of semen? >>> Submarine <<<
________________________________________
English
He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!
________________________________________
English
I want triplets You want twins. Lets get in bed and see who wins!
________________________________________
English
If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?
jokes n sms
English
I like your style - I like your class - but most of all i like your arse!
________________________________________
English
Latest porn releases : shaving private ryan. position impossible. as big as it gets. forest hump. riding miss daisy. starwhores and pornocchio.
________________________________________
English
I hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 69 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks & sex appeal, remain silent & report 2 my bedroom.
________________________________________
English
I once had a ONE-2-ONE night with a VIRGIN.She teased me till i got an ERICKSON.sucked me till my face went ORANGE till i busted my load of SEIMEN over her NOKIAS.
________________________________________
English
Why is Sex a 3 letter word? Its easier to spell than... OHMYGODYESNOOSSHITYESDEEPER-YESGODNOPLEASENOSHITYESOH- SHITFU*KNOYESYESYESSHITOH.
________________________________________
English
Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts
________________________________________
English
23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 cock that cant "crow" dont laff ladies?? UR PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE
________________________________________
English
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land...
________________________________________
English
Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good!!
________________________________________
English
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
________________________________________
English
SEASON DHAMAKA OFFER
Send your girlfriend to me and win a baby
HURRY UP
First ten will get twins
English
I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...
________________________________________
I like your style - I like your class - but most of all i like your arse!
________________________________________
English
Latest porn releases : shaving private ryan. position impossible. as big as it gets. forest hump. riding miss daisy. starwhores and pornocchio.
________________________________________
English
I hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 69 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks & sex appeal, remain silent & report 2 my bedroom.
________________________________________
English
I once had a ONE-2-ONE night with a VIRGIN.She teased me till i got an ERICKSON.sucked me till my face went ORANGE till i busted my load of SEIMEN over her NOKIAS.
________________________________________
English
Why is Sex a 3 letter word? Its easier to spell than... OHMYGODYESNOOSSHITYESDEEPER-YESGODNOPLEASENOSHITYESOH- SHITFU*KNOYESYESYESSHITOH.
________________________________________
English
Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts
________________________________________
English
23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 cock that cant "crow" dont laff ladies?? UR PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE
________________________________________
English
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land...
________________________________________
English
Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good!!
________________________________________
English
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
________________________________________
English
SEASON DHAMAKA OFFER
Send your girlfriend to me and win a baby
HURRY UP
First ten will get twins
English
I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...
________________________________________
jokes n sms
Urdu
Feelings of girls after exam & Sex..
kitna lamba tha.kash thoda time aur mil jata.
Pahele kitna darr lag raha tha na.Pta hi nahi Lga kab ho gya.
mera to shoot gya tha thoda.3 ghnte mujhe to saans hi nahi aayi.
saari raat nahi soyi.Pata nahi ajeeb sa dalte hain.
Aage se soch smjh kar tyari se dungi.
________________________________________
English
2 men went to fuck a girl.
1st came out after fucking a girl n said...
''My wife is better''
2nd went in ,fuck a girl... Came out n said...
''U were right, your wife is better..
________________________________________
Urdu
Pehle usne chunni utaari Phir Kameez phir undershirt or phir bra utara aur
aakhir main .. salvaar bhi utar di.
Phir?
Phir kiya kaproon wali taar khaali ho gayi...
________________________________________
Urdu
fanta piyo,
pepsi piyo,
marinda piyo
coke piyo,
dew piyo,
pani piyo,piyo aur piyo
kiyun ke ab pampers sirf 99 rupai main
________________________________________
Urdu
o o jane jana ladkion ka mein dewana sapno mein roz aae khood ko
mujh se choodwana sanam
________________________________________
Urdu
pahlay tu jati thi cheel choot main
aab urti phirti hay cheel choot main
cheel nay dakhi akk jheel choot main
jheel may naha raha tha shakeel choot main
shakeel nay kar di apeel choot main
haqoomat nay bhaaj dia wakeel choot main
wakeel nay day di dalil choot main
haqoomat nay laga di seel choot main
abb nahi jati keel choot main..
________________________________________
English
A gud friend is like a gud bra... hard 2 find- comfortable-
supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur
heart!
________________________________________
English
Girl to Doctor: My mobile got stuck in my vagina since last 4 days in
vibration mode.
Doctor: OK, I will remove this easily.
Girl: Just recharge the battery.
Feelings of girls after exam & Sex..
kitna lamba tha.kash thoda time aur mil jata.
Pahele kitna darr lag raha tha na.Pta hi nahi Lga kab ho gya.
mera to shoot gya tha thoda.3 ghnte mujhe to saans hi nahi aayi.
saari raat nahi soyi.Pata nahi ajeeb sa dalte hain.
Aage se soch smjh kar tyari se dungi.
________________________________________
English
2 men went to fuck a girl.
1st came out after fucking a girl n said...
''My wife is better''
2nd went in ,fuck a girl... Came out n said...
''U were right, your wife is better..
________________________________________
Urdu
Pehle usne chunni utaari Phir Kameez phir undershirt or phir bra utara aur
aakhir main .. salvaar bhi utar di.
Phir?
Phir kiya kaproon wali taar khaali ho gayi...
________________________________________
Urdu
fanta piyo,
pepsi piyo,
marinda piyo
coke piyo,
dew piyo,
pani piyo,piyo aur piyo
kiyun ke ab pampers sirf 99 rupai main
________________________________________
Urdu
o o jane jana ladkion ka mein dewana sapno mein roz aae khood ko
mujh se choodwana sanam
________________________________________
Urdu
pahlay tu jati thi cheel choot main
aab urti phirti hay cheel choot main
cheel nay dakhi akk jheel choot main
jheel may naha raha tha shakeel choot main
shakeel nay kar di apeel choot main
haqoomat nay bhaaj dia wakeel choot main
wakeel nay day di dalil choot main
haqoomat nay laga di seel choot main
abb nahi jati keel choot main..
________________________________________
English
A gud friend is like a gud bra... hard 2 find- comfortable-
supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur
heart!
________________________________________
English
Girl to Doctor: My mobile got stuck in my vagina since last 4 days in
vibration mode.
Doctor: OK, I will remove this easily.
Girl: Just recharge the battery.
jokes n sms
Urdu
o o jane jana ladkion ka mein dewana sapno mein roz aae khood ko
mujh se choodwana sanam
________________________________________
English
A gud friend is like a gud bra... hard 2 find- comfortable-
supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur heart!
________________________________________
Urdu
pahlay tu jati thi cheel choot main
aab urti phirti hay cheel choot main
cheel nay dakhi akk jheel choot main
jheel may naha raha tha shakeel choot main
shakeel nay kar di apeel choot main
haqoomat nay bhaaj dia wakeel choot main
wakeel nay day di dalil choot main
haqoomat nay laga di seel choot main
abb nahi jati keel choot main..
________________________________________
English
Girl to Doctor: My mobile got stuck in my vagina since last 4 days in
vibration mode.
Doctor: OK, I will remove this easily.
Girl: Just recharge the battery.
________________________________________
Urdu
1 bandariya ka 1 naya bacha hua jis sey woh bohat pyar karney lagi
yeh dekh kar bara bacha jelous honey laga aik raat uss ney apni maa kee chest
par zehar laga diya suba dekha to baap mara para tha.
________________________________________
English
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
________________________________________
English
A woman married
a one legged man.
She wrote to her
mother:
"My husband only has
ONE FOOT".
Her Mother
replied:
"You are lucky,
your papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES"
o o jane jana ladkion ka mein dewana sapno mein roz aae khood ko
mujh se choodwana sanam
________________________________________
English
A gud friend is like a gud bra... hard 2 find- comfortable-
supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur heart!
________________________________________
Urdu
pahlay tu jati thi cheel choot main
aab urti phirti hay cheel choot main
cheel nay dakhi akk jheel choot main
jheel may naha raha tha shakeel choot main
shakeel nay kar di apeel choot main
haqoomat nay bhaaj dia wakeel choot main
wakeel nay day di dalil choot main
haqoomat nay laga di seel choot main
abb nahi jati keel choot main..
________________________________________
English
Girl to Doctor: My mobile got stuck in my vagina since last 4 days in
vibration mode.
Doctor: OK, I will remove this easily.
Girl: Just recharge the battery.
________________________________________
Urdu
1 bandariya ka 1 naya bacha hua jis sey woh bohat pyar karney lagi
yeh dekh kar bara bacha jelous honey laga aik raat uss ney apni maa kee chest
par zehar laga diya suba dekha to baap mara para tha.
________________________________________
English
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
________________________________________
English
A woman married
a one legged man.
She wrote to her
mother:
"My husband only has
ONE FOOT".
Her Mother
replied:
"You are lucky,
your papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES"
jokes n sms
Urdu
1 bandariya ka 1 naya bacha hua jis sey woh bohat pyar karney lagi
yeh dekh kar bara bacha jelous honey laga aik raat uss ney apni maa kee chest
par zehar laga diya suba dekha to baap mara para tha.
________________________________________
English
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
________________________________________
English
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite,
my lovely pyjamas
________________________________________
English
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful, intelligent, understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumor!
________________________________________
English
Come here,take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs.....toilet!
________________________________________
English
A woman married
a one legged man.
She wrote to her
mother:
"My husband only has
ONE FOOT".
Her Mother
replied:
"You are lucky,
your papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES"
________________________________________
Urdu
Kya khel ishq ne khela hai
kyun latka hua ye kela hai
dil kal bhi mera akela tha
lun aaj bhi mera thakela hai
ye money nahin chhooti lun ki
hum kitni bar naha bethe
din men panch bar naha bethe
Dekha julie film ka gana kitna pyara hai
Wife : Pehlay tum daily karte they phir weekly aur ab monthly karte ho .. Kyun ?
Husband : Pehle teri aisee thee {} .. Phir aisee thee { } .. Ab aisee hai { } .. Ab kia karoon aise {} ki talash mein dar dar ki thokrein khaa raha hoon.
________________________________________
Urdu
1 Person : Season Offer Aik rupey ki do Sardar : kya bhi kya 1 Person : Gand pe laat
________________________________________
English
Did u know meaning of WOMEN?
"W"ant "O"ne
"M"an for
"E"very
"N"ight
________________________________________
English
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
________________________________________
Urdu
Sardar dost say: Yar BV nu birthday tay ki gift dawan?
Dost: Apna Lun day.
Sardar: Nai yar koi wada gift das.
Dost: Far mera Lun day day
________________________________________
Urdu
Tujhe dekhker aksar
Aajate hain mujhe chakker
Samajh nahin aata mujhe
Tum moannis ho ya muzakker
________________________________________
Urdu
AIK LERKA LERKI SAY: MAY KUNVARI LERKIYOO SAY SEX NAHI KERTA
LERKI : VO KIYOO
LERKA : KYOON K MUJHAY KHOON KHARABA PASAND NAHI HAI
________________________________________
Urdu
Girl : Arey itna bara munh mein kaise daloon gi.
Boy : Jaldi se munh kholo.
Girl : Oops sare kapray geelay ho gaye.
Boy : Aur lo gee.
Girl: NA baba na yeh Gool Gapey tum he kahoo.
________________________________________
Urdu
Wo mangti the mein deta na tha,
jawab us k sawaloo ka.
Abhi rakha hi tha k choot gaya,
hath se phool gulab ka.
Wo kehti thi bara maza ata hay
jab under jata hay,
kano mein ik ik lafz janab ka.
________________________________________
Urdu
Boy to girl : tum gaana boaht acha gaati ho
Girl to boy : nahi main to sirf bathroom singer hon
Boy : to phir bolao na kabi mehfil jamain ge
1 bandariya ka 1 naya bacha hua jis sey woh bohat pyar karney lagi
yeh dekh kar bara bacha jelous honey laga aik raat uss ney apni maa kee chest
par zehar laga diya suba dekha to baap mara para tha.
________________________________________
English
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
________________________________________
English
Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite,
my lovely pyjamas
________________________________________
English
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful, intelligent, understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumor!
________________________________________
English
Come here,take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs.....toilet!
________________________________________
English
A woman married
a one legged man.
She wrote to her
mother:
"My husband only has
ONE FOOT".
Her Mother
replied:
"You are lucky,
your papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES"
________________________________________
Urdu
Kya khel ishq ne khela hai
kyun latka hua ye kela hai
dil kal bhi mera akela tha
lun aaj bhi mera thakela hai
ye money nahin chhooti lun ki
hum kitni bar naha bethe
din men panch bar naha bethe
Dekha julie film ka gana kitna pyara hai
Wife : Pehlay tum daily karte they phir weekly aur ab monthly karte ho .. Kyun ?
Husband : Pehle teri aisee thee {} .. Phir aisee thee { } .. Ab aisee hai { } .. Ab kia karoon aise {} ki talash mein dar dar ki thokrein khaa raha hoon.
________________________________________
Urdu
1 Person : Season Offer Aik rupey ki do Sardar : kya bhi kya 1 Person : Gand pe laat
________________________________________
English
Did u know meaning of WOMEN?
"W"ant "O"ne
"M"an for
"E"very
"N"ight
________________________________________
English
Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
________________________________________
Urdu
Sardar dost say: Yar BV nu birthday tay ki gift dawan?
Dost: Apna Lun day.
Sardar: Nai yar koi wada gift das.
Dost: Far mera Lun day day
________________________________________
Urdu
Tujhe dekhker aksar
Aajate hain mujhe chakker
Samajh nahin aata mujhe
Tum moannis ho ya muzakker
________________________________________
Urdu
AIK LERKA LERKI SAY: MAY KUNVARI LERKIYOO SAY SEX NAHI KERTA
LERKI : VO KIYOO
LERKA : KYOON K MUJHAY KHOON KHARABA PASAND NAHI HAI
________________________________________
Urdu
Girl : Arey itna bara munh mein kaise daloon gi.
Boy : Jaldi se munh kholo.
Girl : Oops sare kapray geelay ho gaye.
Boy : Aur lo gee.
Girl: NA baba na yeh Gool Gapey tum he kahoo.
________________________________________
Urdu
Wo mangti the mein deta na tha,
jawab us k sawaloo ka.
Abhi rakha hi tha k choot gaya,
hath se phool gulab ka.
Wo kehti thi bara maza ata hay
jab under jata hay,
kano mein ik ik lafz janab ka.
________________________________________
Urdu
Boy to girl : tum gaana boaht acha gaati ho
Girl to boy : nahi main to sirf bathroom singer hon
Boy : to phir bolao na kabi mehfil jamain ge
jokes n sms
Urdu
Boy to Girl : Tumhari dono tango kay darmian main kia hai ?
Girl : Meri dono tango kay darmian main aik lakeer hai.
Girl : Tumhari dono tango kay darmian main kiay hai ?
Boy : Lakeer ka faqeer.
________________________________________
Urdu
Aurat or chayee may char qualities dekho
Tayz ho..
Garam ho..
Doodh Ziyadaa ho..
Jo raat ko sonay naa dey..
Boy to Girl : Tumhari dono tango kay darmian main kia hai ?
Girl : Meri dono tango kay darmian main aik lakeer hai.
Girl : Tumhari dono tango kay darmian main kiay hai ?
Boy : Lakeer ka faqeer.
________________________________________
Urdu
Aurat or chayee may char qualities dekho
Tayz ho..
Garam ho..
Doodh Ziyadaa ho..
Jo raat ko sonay naa dey..
jokes n sms
Urdu
Ah ohh ah ohh
nahi nahi
uff ,
nahi
ah ah ah ah;
plz dont
nahi nahi nahi
aaaah aah aah aah
uff uff uff uff
bus
ah nahi oie
oie nahi
ah ah
ah
aby kyo chekh raha ha mobile gand main lay lia ha kya..
________________________________________
Urdu
Gandoo ki 3 nishaniyan:
1. Hamesha bewaqt miss call dega.
2. Gande Gande SMS muskra kar parhe ga.
3. Don't scroll down:
Jis baat ko mana karo wo zaroor kare ga.
________________________________________
English
If u hav 2 eggs between ur 2 legs u r a man but if u hav 4 eggs
between ur 2 legs don't think u r a superman someone is F**king u
________________________________________
Urdu
Dost 1 : Apni girl friend ko chand mat kehna.
Dost 2 : woh kyun?
Dost 3 : Kehtay hain us per bhi 3 4 log char chukay hain.
________________________________________
English
Sex is like a restaurant, sometimes u get good service, sometimes bad service, sometimes no service and many times u hav 2 be happy wid self service.
________________________________________
Urdu English Mix
all couple have different phases of sex life, age: 20 din raat, age: 28 roz raat,
age: 38 jume-e-raat, age: 48 eid shabraat, age: 58 only JAZBAAT... above 60 no no bury Bat
Ah ohh ah ohh
nahi nahi
uff ,
nahi
ah ah ah ah;
plz dont
nahi nahi nahi
aaaah aah aah aah
uff uff uff uff
bus
ah nahi oie
oie nahi
ah ah
ah
aby kyo chekh raha ha mobile gand main lay lia ha kya..
________________________________________
Urdu
Gandoo ki 3 nishaniyan:
1. Hamesha bewaqt miss call dega.
2. Gande Gande SMS muskra kar parhe ga.
3. Don't scroll down:
Jis baat ko mana karo wo zaroor kare ga.
________________________________________
English
If u hav 2 eggs between ur 2 legs u r a man but if u hav 4 eggs
between ur 2 legs don't think u r a superman someone is F**king u
________________________________________
Urdu
Dost 1 : Apni girl friend ko chand mat kehna.
Dost 2 : woh kyun?
Dost 3 : Kehtay hain us per bhi 3 4 log char chukay hain.
________________________________________
English
Sex is like a restaurant, sometimes u get good service, sometimes bad service, sometimes no service and many times u hav 2 be happy wid self service.
________________________________________
Urdu English Mix
all couple have different phases of sex life, age: 20 din raat, age: 28 roz raat,
age: 38 jume-e-raat, age: 48 eid shabraat, age: 58 only JAZBAAT... above 60 no no bury Bat
jokes n sms
Girl: Mjy tennis khailna sikhao.
Coach: Ok, Racket ko bilkul aise pakro jaise ye tmhare boy frnd ka L**d ho.
Girl: OK…
Coach: Oho aisy nhi Racket mounh se nikalo…
ah
oh
dheere
ah
mar gayi
ah
oh
ahah
chal ab bas kar
1 rupee k sms mein kya pori blue film dikhaonWah
Ooo Sajan Asan Teiku bhandey ni sey..
Nal dey hamsey haan door rahnde ni sey..
Aaa Weinse tey chumi chatta ker ghinsoun
Na tey yeiku yahnde ni sey..
Read This sms below
A woman married
a one legged man.
She wrote to her
mother:
“My husband only has
ONE FOOT”.
Her Mother
replied:
“You are lucky,
your papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES”
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
2 men went to fuck a girl.
1st came out after fucking a girl n said…
”My wife is better”
2nd went in ,fuck a girl… Came out n said…
”U were right, your wife is better..
nahi nahi
uff ,
nahi
ah ah ah ah;
plz dont
nahi nahi nahi
aaaah aah aah aah
uff uff uff uff
bus
ah nahi oie
oie nahi
ah ah
ah
aby kyo chekh raha ha mobile gand main lay lia ha kya.
Girl : Arey itna bara munh mein kaise daloon gi.
Boy : Jaldi se munh kholo.
Girl : Oops sare kapray geelay ho gaye.
Boy : Aur lo gee.
Girl: NA baba na yeh Gool Gapey tum he kahoo.
Coach: Ok, Racket ko bilkul aise pakro jaise ye tmhare boy frnd ka L**d ho.
Girl: OK…
Coach: Oho aisy nhi Racket mounh se nikalo…
ah
oh
dheere
ah
mar gayi
ah
oh
ahah
chal ab bas kar
1 rupee k sms mein kya pori blue film dikhaonWah
Ooo Sajan Asan Teiku bhandey ni sey..
Nal dey hamsey haan door rahnde ni sey..
Aaa Weinse tey chumi chatta ker ghinsoun
Na tey yeiku yahnde ni sey..
Read This sms below
A woman married
a one legged man.
She wrote to her
mother:
“My husband only has
ONE FOOT”.
Her Mother
replied:
“You are lucky,
your papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES”
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
2 men went to fuck a girl.
1st came out after fucking a girl n said…
”My wife is better”
2nd went in ,fuck a girl… Came out n said…
”U were right, your wife is better..
If u hav 2 eggs between ur 2 legs u r a man but if u hav 4 eggs
between ur 2 legs don’t think u r a superman someone is F**king u
nahi nahi
uff ,
nahi
ah ah ah ah;
plz dont
nahi nahi nahi
aaaah aah aah aah
uff uff uff uff
bus
ah nahi oie
oie nahi
ah ah
ah
aby kyo chekh raha ha mobile gand main lay lia ha kya.
Girl : Arey itna bara munh mein kaise daloon gi.
Boy : Jaldi se munh kholo.
Girl : Oops sare kapray geelay ho gaye.
Boy : Aur lo gee.
Girl: NA baba na yeh Gool Gapey tum he kahoo.
jokes n sms
English
When I went to the Madras,
I fucked a lady on the grass...
When I insert inch One,
She says its none...
When I insert inch Two
She says its few...
When I insert inch Three,
She says its free...
When I insert inch Four,
She says its i want more...
When I insert inch Five,
She says its just like a knife...
When I insert inch Six,
She says its fix...
When I insert inch Seven,
She says i m feeling in a heaven...
When I insert inch Eight,
She says its great...
When I insert inch Nine,
She says its hole of mine...
When I insert inch Ten,
She says are you a donkey or a man...
________________________________________
Urdu English Mix
"When nobody luvs u, nobody cares 4 u, nobody think about u, every 1 ignores u, then go and sit in the corner close ur eyes and think Bhanchod Akhir Chakar kya hai?
Teacher : Hame in machron ko paida hone se rokna chahiye.
Student : Wo to ho hi nahin sakta.
Teacher : Kyon?
Student : Kyon ki itna chota condom ban hi nahi sakta.
________________________________________
Urdu
choos lo na
chosnay k liya tu hai
tum bhi chosva laina
main bhi choos don ge
plz plz plz plz
chooslo yeh lolly pop
________________________________________
Urdu
Kashte phasee bhanhwar main ab mojain hi par lagaeein gi
Jab apne naseeb hi gandoo hon to mojain bahn yawain gi
________________________________________
Urdu
Aandu, pandu & gandu teen dost hote hain.
1st aandu jo randiyoon ka chokidaar tha.
2nd pandu jo randiyoon ka dallal tha.
or 3rd wo jo mera sms phadraha hai
________________________________________
English
Q: What is a kiss?
A: Very simple, its an enquiry at the top floor about the vacancy in the ground
floor.
________________________________________
Urdu
Jo mila aurat ko mila!! Hont milay chuswany ko, Mammay milay dabwanay ko, Phuddi mili chudwanay ko. Aur apko kia mila??? LUN!!! aor wo b sirf hilaney ko??? so
hilao...
________________________________________
Urdu
sex karo daily,agar wo mil jay akali
agar na mily akali tu pakar lo us ke sahale,
agar na mily sahale,tu zindabad hathale,
par sex karo daily
________________________________________
English
Niple niple little star ...can i suck you in my car ...up above the breast so
have...always milky never dry...let me touch it never shy...in the bra it
will be dry ...
________________________________________
Urdu
thora sa karne do
Plz thora sa karne do
kisi ko pati nahi chale ga
bus thora sa karne do
aik chota sa sms
________________________________________
Urdu English Mix
A girl for First the time was handling a boy's cock. After some time, some drops
came out, she asked wat's that? The boy said:Yeh Khushi ke AANSOO hai.
________________________________________
English
A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So
open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!
When I went to the Madras,
I fucked a lady on the grass...
When I insert inch One,
She says its none...
When I insert inch Two
She says its few...
When I insert inch Three,
She says its free...
When I insert inch Four,
She says its i want more...
When I insert inch Five,
She says its just like a knife...
When I insert inch Six,
She says its fix...
When I insert inch Seven,
She says i m feeling in a heaven...
When I insert inch Eight,
She says its great...
When I insert inch Nine,
She says its hole of mine...
When I insert inch Ten,
She says are you a donkey or a man...
________________________________________
Urdu English Mix
"When nobody luvs u, nobody cares 4 u, nobody think about u, every 1 ignores u, then go and sit in the corner close ur eyes and think Bhanchod Akhir Chakar kya hai?
Teacher : Hame in machron ko paida hone se rokna chahiye.
Student : Wo to ho hi nahin sakta.
Teacher : Kyon?
Student : Kyon ki itna chota condom ban hi nahi sakta.
________________________________________
Urdu
choos lo na
chosnay k liya tu hai
tum bhi chosva laina
main bhi choos don ge
plz plz plz plz
chooslo yeh lolly pop
________________________________________
Urdu
Kashte phasee bhanhwar main ab mojain hi par lagaeein gi
Jab apne naseeb hi gandoo hon to mojain bahn yawain gi
________________________________________
Urdu
Aandu, pandu & gandu teen dost hote hain.
1st aandu jo randiyoon ka chokidaar tha.
2nd pandu jo randiyoon ka dallal tha.
or 3rd wo jo mera sms phadraha hai
________________________________________
English
Q: What is a kiss?
A: Very simple, its an enquiry at the top floor about the vacancy in the ground
floor.
________________________________________
Urdu
Jo mila aurat ko mila!! Hont milay chuswany ko, Mammay milay dabwanay ko, Phuddi mili chudwanay ko. Aur apko kia mila??? LUN!!! aor wo b sirf hilaney ko??? so
hilao...
________________________________________
Urdu
sex karo daily,agar wo mil jay akali
agar na mily akali tu pakar lo us ke sahale,
agar na mily sahale,tu zindabad hathale,
par sex karo daily
________________________________________
English
Niple niple little star ...can i suck you in my car ...up above the breast so
have...always milky never dry...let me touch it never shy...in the bra it
will be dry ...
________________________________________
Urdu
thora sa karne do
Plz thora sa karne do
kisi ko pati nahi chale ga
bus thora sa karne do
aik chota sa sms
________________________________________
Urdu English Mix
A girl for First the time was handling a boy's cock. After some time, some drops
came out, she asked wat's that? The boy said:Yeh Khushi ke AANSOO hai.
________________________________________
English
A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So
open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!
jokes n sms
Urdu
Pehlay kiss karo..
Phir shirt utaro..
Phir fuck karo..
Kitna asan hai sex karna !!
________________________________________
English
Girl to Doctor: My mobile got stuck in my vagina since last 4 days in
vibration mode.
Doctor: OK, I will remove this easily.
Girl: Just recharge the battery.
________________________________________
Urdu
Aik bus mein girls ki team aur boys ki team ban antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls : Hum tumhe hara ke dikhayenge!
Boys : Hum har gaye, chalo ab dikhao.
________________________________________
English
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
________________________________________
Urdu
Oorat k Doodh k 5 faide
1. Boil nhi karna parta
2. Kharab nhi hota
3. Har umar k Mard ki pasand
4. Dil kash packing main
5. Aik k saath dusra FREE
________________________________________
English
Amitabh bachan in KBC
Question for 10 lac to Sardar jee
What is the colour of your wife's underwear?
Option 1 : White
Option 2 : Grey
Option 3 : Black
Option 4 : Blue
Sardar jee : Can i phone a friend?
________________________________________
Urdu
4 facts
1 mammay aur jazbat jitne dabao utne ubhrte hain
2 snake aur pudi jahan deko mar do.
3 doodh aur gand phtne ki awaz nahin ati
4 pani aur lun apna rasita khud bana laite hain
________________________________________
English
A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you disappear!!
________________________________________
English
American students say : people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.
English
American students say : people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.
________________________________________
English
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
Pehlay kiss karo..
Phir shirt utaro..
Phir fuck karo..
Kitna asan hai sex karna !!
________________________________________
English
Girl to Doctor: My mobile got stuck in my vagina since last 4 days in
vibration mode.
Doctor: OK, I will remove this easily.
Girl: Just recharge the battery.
________________________________________
Urdu
Aik bus mein girls ki team aur boys ki team ban antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls : Hum tumhe hara ke dikhayenge!
Boys : Hum har gaye, chalo ab dikhao.
________________________________________
English
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
________________________________________
Urdu
Oorat k Doodh k 5 faide
1. Boil nhi karna parta
2. Kharab nhi hota
3. Har umar k Mard ki pasand
4. Dil kash packing main
5. Aik k saath dusra FREE
________________________________________
English
Amitabh bachan in KBC
Question for 10 lac to Sardar jee
What is the colour of your wife's underwear?
Option 1 : White
Option 2 : Grey
Option 3 : Black
Option 4 : Blue
Sardar jee : Can i phone a friend?
________________________________________
Urdu
4 facts
1 mammay aur jazbat jitne dabao utne ubhrte hain
2 snake aur pudi jahan deko mar do.
3 doodh aur gand phtne ki awaz nahin ati
4 pani aur lun apna rasita khud bana laite hain
________________________________________
English
A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you disappear!!
________________________________________
English
American students say : people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.
English
American students say : people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.
________________________________________
English
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.
jokes n sms
Urdu
1 bandariya ka 1 naya bacha hua jis sey woh bohat pyar karney lagi
yeh dekh kar bara bacha jelous honey laga aik raat uss ney apni maa kee chest
par zehar laga diya suba dekha to baap mara para tha.
________________________________________
English
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
________________________________________
English
Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a
woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a
demonstration?
________________________________________
Urdu
Hila zor se hila hila pura hila dil se hila sabke samne hila jitna hilaogay utna
maza ayega warana halwa jal jayega:P
________________________________________
Urdu
ferrari asked foxi : tumhari ankhain kyun bahar nikli hue hain ?
foxi replied :agar tumhara engine tumhare gand main laga dain tu tumhari ankhain bhee bahar nikal aayain gi.
________________________________________
Urdu
conductor : bachcay ka full ticket lage ga!
lady : yeh tu abhi nipple chusta hai!
conductor : wo tu is ka baap bhi choosta hai, tu kya uska bhi aadha loo gi ?
________________________________________
Urdu
imtehan main aik larki nay teacher se kaha kay main nakal mar loon ?
teacher nay kaha tum naqal maroo per hum tu asal hi marain gay.
________________________________________
Urdu
Na chahat hai sitaron ki, Na tamanna hai nazaroon ki, Bas aap jaisa dost mil
jaye
MAA CHOD DAIN GEY SAROON KI.
________________________________________
Urdu
aik MUMAY nay dosray MUMAY se pocha.......
Larai nichli gali main hoti hai
Pakray hum jatay hain...!!!
__________________________________
1 bandariya ka 1 naya bacha hua jis sey woh bohat pyar karney lagi
yeh dekh kar bara bacha jelous honey laga aik raat uss ney apni maa kee chest
par zehar laga diya suba dekha to baap mara para tha.
________________________________________
English
how is sex related to maths?..add two person and a bed..substract
cloths..divide the legs..multiply the strokes..and the result is
satisfucktion..!aha!!!
________________________________________
English
Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a
woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a
demonstration?
________________________________________
Urdu
Hila zor se hila hila pura hila dil se hila sabke samne hila jitna hilaogay utna
maza ayega warana halwa jal jayega:P
________________________________________
Urdu
ferrari asked foxi : tumhari ankhain kyun bahar nikli hue hain ?
foxi replied :agar tumhara engine tumhare gand main laga dain tu tumhari ankhain bhee bahar nikal aayain gi.
________________________________________
Urdu
conductor : bachcay ka full ticket lage ga!
lady : yeh tu abhi nipple chusta hai!
conductor : wo tu is ka baap bhi choosta hai, tu kya uska bhi aadha loo gi ?
________________________________________
Urdu
imtehan main aik larki nay teacher se kaha kay main nakal mar loon ?
teacher nay kaha tum naqal maroo per hum tu asal hi marain gay.
________________________________________
Urdu
Na chahat hai sitaron ki, Na tamanna hai nazaroon ki, Bas aap jaisa dost mil
jaye
MAA CHOD DAIN GEY SAROON KI.
________________________________________
Urdu
aik MUMAY nay dosray MUMAY se pocha.......
Larai nichli gali main hoti hai
Pakray hum jatay hain...!!!
__________________________________
jokes n sms
Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman's destination. Do u get my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!
________________________________________
English
Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do. MOM : Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thing. SON : got my nose in her armpit. Now what?
________________________________________
English
A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
________________________________________
English
Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A: A woman bcoz she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.
________________________________________
English
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
________________________________________
Urdu
Aurat or chayee may char qualities dekho
Tayz ho..
Garam ho..
Doodh Ziyadaa ho..
Jo raat ko sonay naa dey..
________________________________________
English
When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose. .
________________________________________
English
" if u were a drum id bang u, if u were a pig id pork u, if u were a flower id root u, if u were a nail id screw u, but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!
________________________________________
English
Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do. MOM : Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thing. SON : got my nose in her armpit. Now what?
________________________________________
English
A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
________________________________________
English
Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A: A woman bcoz she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.
________________________________________
English
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
________________________________________
Urdu
Aurat or chayee may char qualities dekho
Tayz ho..
Garam ho..
Doodh Ziyadaa ho..
Jo raat ko sonay naa dey..
________________________________________
English
When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose. .
________________________________________
English
" if u were a drum id bang u, if u were a pig id pork u, if u were a flower id root u, if u were a nail id screw u, but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!
jokes n sms
I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!
________________________________________
English
GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
________________________________________
English
A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.
________________________________________
English
I hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 69 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks & sex appeal, remain silent & report 2 my bedroom.
________________________________________
English
I once had a ONE-2-ONE night with a VIRGIN.She teased me till i got an ERICKSON.sucked me till my face went ORANGE till i busted my load of SEIMEN over her NOKIAS.
________________________________________
English
Hello! I m a little alien called Kan. I have taken the form of a mobile
phone- your phone. And during this message I have been having sex with
your thumb!
________________________________________
English
Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts
________________________________________
English
I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my teeth
________________________________________
English
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land...
________________________________________
English
Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good!!
________________________________________
English
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
________________________________________
English
GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
________________________________________
English
A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.
________________________________________
English
I hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 69 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks & sex appeal, remain silent & report 2 my bedroom.
________________________________________
English
I once had a ONE-2-ONE night with a VIRGIN.She teased me till i got an ERICKSON.sucked me till my face went ORANGE till i busted my load of SEIMEN over her NOKIAS.
________________________________________
English
Hello! I m a little alien called Kan. I have taken the form of a mobile
phone- your phone. And during this message I have been having sex with
your thumb!
________________________________________
English
Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts
________________________________________
English
I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my teeth
________________________________________
English
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land...
________________________________________
English
Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good!!
________________________________________
English
There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
jokes n sms
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kuch
na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
chandni raat me chatai par
chaca ne chaci ke choot chatti
chaci chilai choot chatna
chor condom charha chod chotye
What’s the closest thing to a woman’s period?
Your salary.
It comes once a month,
lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesn’t come
Mobile ko kabhi pichhe ke pocket me mat rakhna,battery fategi to gand fat jayegi,log hath se gand dhote hain,aur tum gand se hath dho baithoge.
na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
chandni raat me chatai par
chaca ne chaci ke choot chatti
chaci chilai choot chatna
chor condom charha chod chotye
What’s the closest thing to a woman’s period?
Your salary.
It comes once a month,
lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesn’t come
Mobile ko kabhi pichhe ke pocket me mat rakhna,battery fategi to gand fat jayegi,log hath se gand dhote hain,aur tum gand se hath dho baithoge.
jokes n sms
Sex karo daily,
Agar woh mil jai Akeli,
agar na mile akeli,
tu pakar lo uss ki saheli,
agar na mile saheli,
tu Zindabad hatheli,
lekin sex karo daily,
Daalte Hi Jhar Gaye Tehray Na Phool Galay Main Mere Haar K Dard Un Ko Huwa To Nikaal Liya Maine Kaanta Jo Chubha Peron Main Sarkar K Cheek Uthay Chilla Uthay Kehnay Lagay Meri Na Lo Ek Hi To Kameez Hai Aur Din Bhi Hain Tehwaar K
fanta piyo,
pepsi piyo,
marinda piyo
coke piyo,
dew piyo,
pani piyo,piyo aur piyo
kiyun ke ab pampers sirf 99 rupai main
k Larki thi dewaani si…
Ik Larkay pe wo mar…
Kuch lena tha usay…
Lakin pregnancy se wo darti thi
Jab bi milti thi muijhey…..
Ye hi pocha karti thi……
Ye “CONDOM” kAHAN SE MILTA HAI
Ye “CONDOM” kAHAN SE MILTA HAI
Agar woh mil jai Akeli,
agar na mile akeli,
tu pakar lo uss ki saheli,
agar na mile saheli,
tu Zindabad hatheli,
lekin sex karo daily,
Daalte Hi Jhar Gaye Tehray Na Phool Galay Main Mere Haar K Dard Un Ko Huwa To Nikaal Liya Maine Kaanta Jo Chubha Peron Main Sarkar K Cheek Uthay Chilla Uthay Kehnay Lagay Meri Na Lo Ek Hi To Kameez Hai Aur Din Bhi Hain Tehwaar K
fanta piyo,
pepsi piyo,
marinda piyo
coke piyo,
dew piyo,
pani piyo,piyo aur piyo
kiyun ke ab pampers sirf 99 rupai main
k Larki thi dewaani si…
Ik Larkay pe wo mar…
Kuch lena tha usay…
Lakin pregnancy se wo darti thi
Jab bi milti thi muijhey…..
Ye hi pocha karti thi……
Ye “CONDOM” kAHAN SE MILTA HAI
Ye “CONDOM” kAHAN SE MILTA HAI
jokes n sms
English
Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do. MOM : Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thing. SON : got my nose in her armpit. Now what?
Urdu
Hum Gire Hue ko Uthate hai,
Hum Bichhde Hue Ko Milate Hai,
In Short Hum Bra Banate Hain.
________________________________________
Urdu
Man: Kiss Karun?
Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi.
Man: Boob dabaun.?
Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.?
Man: Fuck?
Gal: Period me hun.?
Man: Don't say loose motions hai
________________________________________
English
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
________________________________________
English
Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when
the music stops.
________________________________________
English
When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose. .
English
" if u were a drum id bang u, if u were a pig id pork u, if u were a flower id root u, if u were a nail id screw u, but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!
________________________________________
English
Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it) like PEPSI
(ask for more) like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE
TRUE)..
________________________________________
Urdu
3 Facts of Life:
Ghareeb aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai.
Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai.
Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai.
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
________________________________________
Urdu
3 sach
gareeb or mama hamesha pakda jata hain
masla or lun kahin bi khada ho sakta hian
kismat or gand kahin bi khul sakti ha
yad rakhna
________________________________________
English
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $$$ per minute
________________________________________
English
Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
________________________________________
English
What is hard and long and full of semen? >>> Submarine <<<
________________________________________
English
How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!
________________________________________
English
A man wanted 2 get married, He had a choice of 3 women. 1st woz a rich dcotor, 2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute. WHO DID HE PICK? The 1 wid big tits!
________________________________________
English
oday its cool to have small cars and small computers. Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too, then you my friend will be THE MAN!!
________________________________________
English
I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Every thucking day!
________________________________________
English
Of all the babes u r my selection please dont giv me a rejection. my teeth are clean for ur Inspection so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
________________________________________
English
Roses are red. voilets are corny. when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!
________________________________________
English
Sex is evil and evil's a sin. but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck in!!
________________________________________
Urdu
Hila zor se hila hila pura hila dil se hila sabke samne hila jitna hilaogay utna
maza ayega warana halwa jal jayega:P
________________________________________
Urdu
ferrari asked foxi : tumhari ankhain kyun bahar nikli hue hain ?
foxi replied :agar tumhara engine tumhare gand main laga dain tu tumhari ankhain bhee bahar nikal aayain gi.
________________________________________
Urdu
conductor : bachcay ka full ticket lage ga!
lady : yeh tu abhi nipple chusta hai!
conductor : wo tu is ka baap bhi choosta hai, tu kya uska bhi aadha loo gi ?
________________________________________
Urdu
imtehan main aik larki nay teacher se kaha kay main nakal mar loon ?
teacher nay kaha tum naqal maroo per hum tu asal hi marain gay.
Different Voices during fucking time,
Russia:”O shema fu”
USA:”Yah fuck my ass”
China:”O chu ma shu”
India:”Oui maa”
In case of Pathan: “Kona Teenga Ka”
Duniya mein sab se himmat wala kaun?
“Dhobi” q k wo kabhi bhi kisi ke ghar jaa kar bol sakta hai.
Sahib bibi ji ko bolo kapde nikal kar rakhe mein abhi aa ke leta hu.
2 WOMEN TALKs
1st: Roz subah, mera dudhwala bahut dabata hai-BELL
2nd : mera to paperwala achcha hai, bilkul nahi dabata,
niche se hi dal deta hai-Paper…
Q: What is the similarity b/w ELECTION
& SEX?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans: Dono mein umeedwar ‘KHARA’ hota hy
2 aurton ne driving sikhna shru ki,
Jb 2no k husband apas may milay 2 ek bola
Meri BV ko pata nhi kya hogaya hy
Raat ko sote hue mera pakar kr kehti hy..
“1st gear 2nd gear”
Dosra bola Ye tu kuch b nhi hy
Meri BV tu sotay may dono tangen khol kr
kehti hy 500 ka dalo.
Meera nai suicide ka plan banaya or
railway line pe dono taangen khol kar
late gai.
Next day GEO per khabar aayi:
Shalimar Express kal se ghayeb hai.
Sardar: Kitne paise lo gi?
Girl: Bed 500, Sofa 200, Zameen pe 100.
Sardarne 500 diye.
Girl: Yani Bed pe?
Sardar: Nahi 5 baar Zameen pe.
Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?
A pink rose with loveley details.
And after sex?
Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?
Aurat doctor se: mera pati mujh se sex nhi krta.
doctor: ye 1 goli roz khilana.
aurat ne 1 goli pati ko di to rat ko pati ne sex kia,
aglay din usne 2 goli di to pati ne khub josh se sex kia,
3esray din aurat ne puri botel ki goliyan chai may mila kr khila di…
3 din bad doctor ne aurat k betay se haal chal pucha to
Beta bola : ammi mer gai hain chachi hospital may hai nokrani ne papa pe rape ka muqadma kr dia hai.
or meri g**nd abi b dukh rhe hai.
choot chorangi per ek choot ne khud kush hamla kiya
14 chootein halak 10 lund zakmi 22 topay khul gaey
40 MAMAY la pata AUR kai jhantin sulag gaein police ki
foran karwai se 19 TATTAY PAKRAY GAEY baqi tattay farar
sms miltay he under ground hojao
2 lund flim ka tickat laytay hai pehla lund dosre se bolta hai yar
flim sexy na hoo
dosra lund : kio bay
pehla lund : salay nahi to sari flim kharay ho kar daykhna parhay ga
Blind wife during sex ye kya hai? Husband: Ye taaty hain! Wife:Ye ander nhi jaty? Husband:Nhi ye bahr rehty hain Wife: Tumhare marzi bas andhi mohtaj ka haq na marna
Sardar running behind bus, and finaly catches it n asks driver,
ye bus teri ma lagti hai ? Nahi.
Behan lagti? Nahi… biwi ? nahi. To sala chadne kyu nahi deta!!
JUDGE :- aap apni patni se talaq kyon chahate hai ?
PATI : - Main patni ke sath Bistar par khush nahi hu,
PATNI :- (gusse me ):- jab sara mohalla khush hai to tum kyon nahi!!!
BUSH AIK SARDAR SE:YAHAN BAAT BAAT PER BHENCHOD Q BOLTE HAIN IS KA KIYA MATLAB HAI?
SARDAR:IS KA MATLAB HAI WATAN SE MOHABBAT KARNE WALA.
BUSH INDIA AAKAR BOLA:BAHART K BHENCHODO,MAIN BHI AIK BHENCHOD HOON LEKIN GANDHI SE BARA BHENCHOD MAIN NAY NAHI DEKHA
A boy donated blood 2 his GF. Kuch din bad ladai ho gayi.Boy ne apna khoon manga to girl ne apna whisper uske muh pr mara aur boli-monthly instalmnt me milega.
Pehle KISS karo,
phir PALANG per leta do,
phir CHADDI utar do,
phir NICHE haath lagao,
.
.
.
.
Aur check karo k
BABY ne SU SU to nahi kiya na
English
Sex is evil and evil's a sin. but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck in!!
________________________________________
Urdu
Hila zor se hila hila pura hila dil se hila sabke samne hila jitna hilaogay utna
maza ayega warana halwa jal jayega:P
________________________________________
Urdu
ferrari asked foxi : tumhari ankhain kyun bahar nikli hue hain ?
foxi replied :agar tumhara engine tumhare gand main laga dain tu tumhari ankhain bhee bahar nikal aayain gi.
________________________________________
Urdu
conductor : bachcay ka full ticket lage ga!
lady : yeh tu abhi nipple chusta hai!
conductor : wo tu is ka baap bhi choosta hai, tu kya uska bhi aadha loo gi ?
________________________________________
English
imtehan main aik larki nay teacher se kaha kay main nakal mar loon ?
teacher nay kaha tum naqal maroo per hum tu asal hi marain gay.
________________________________________
English
Na chahat hai sitaron ki, Na tamanna hai nazaroon ki, Bas aap jaisa dost mil
jaye
MAA CHOD DAIN GEY SAROON KI.
________________________________________
English
Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.
________________________________________
English
Peter Peter Pumpkin eater had a wife & liked to beat her smacked her twice around da head F**ked her arse & went 2 bed! Adult Funny sms
________________________________________
English
A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!
________________________________________
English
A teacher asked "wot part of the body goes to heaven first?" A child replied "feet" - coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!
________________________________________
English
A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts, who opens her heart receives love, who opens her legs receives happiness .
________________________________________
English
Mobilink regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u. We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u not even a network.
________________________________________
English
23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 cock that cant "crow" dont laff ladies?? UR PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE
________________________________________
English
Why do women have orgasms during sex??? It gives them something to moan about even when they are fuc***g enjoyin themselves
________________________________________
English
Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
________________________________________
English
Types of arse ...
(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!
Types of arse ...
(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!! .
________________________________________
English
HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub tease pamper console worship respect & love. HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job
________________________________________
English
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!
Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do. MOM : Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thing. SON : got my nose in her armpit. Now what?
Urdu
Hum Gire Hue ko Uthate hai,
Hum Bichhde Hue Ko Milate Hai,
In Short Hum Bra Banate Hain.
________________________________________
Urdu
Man: Kiss Karun?
Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi.
Man: Boob dabaun.?
Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.?
Man: Fuck?
Gal: Period me hun.?
Man: Don't say loose motions hai
________________________________________
English
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
________________________________________
English
Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when
the music stops.
________________________________________
English
When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose. .
English
" if u were a drum id bang u, if u were a pig id pork u, if u were a flower id root u, if u were a nail id screw u, but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!
________________________________________
English
Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it) like PEPSI
(ask for more) like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE
TRUE)..
________________________________________
Urdu
3 Facts of Life:
Ghareeb aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai.
Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai.
Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai.
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
________________________________________
Urdu
3 sach
gareeb or mama hamesha pakda jata hain
masla or lun kahin bi khada ho sakta hian
kismat or gand kahin bi khul sakti ha
yad rakhna
________________________________________
English
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $$$ per minute
________________________________________
English
Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
________________________________________
English
What is hard and long and full of semen? >>> Submarine <<<
________________________________________
English
How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!
________________________________________
English
A man wanted 2 get married, He had a choice of 3 women. 1st woz a rich dcotor, 2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute. WHO DID HE PICK? The 1 wid big tits!
________________________________________
English
oday its cool to have small cars and small computers. Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too, then you my friend will be THE MAN!!
________________________________________
English
I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Every thucking day!
________________________________________
English
Of all the babes u r my selection please dont giv me a rejection. my teeth are clean for ur Inspection so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
________________________________________
English
Roses are red. voilets are corny. when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!
________________________________________
English
Sex is evil and evil's a sin. but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck in!!
________________________________________
Urdu
Hila zor se hila hila pura hila dil se hila sabke samne hila jitna hilaogay utna
maza ayega warana halwa jal jayega:P
________________________________________
Urdu
ferrari asked foxi : tumhari ankhain kyun bahar nikli hue hain ?
foxi replied :agar tumhara engine tumhare gand main laga dain tu tumhari ankhain bhee bahar nikal aayain gi.
________________________________________
Urdu
conductor : bachcay ka full ticket lage ga!
lady : yeh tu abhi nipple chusta hai!
conductor : wo tu is ka baap bhi choosta hai, tu kya uska bhi aadha loo gi ?
________________________________________
Urdu
imtehan main aik larki nay teacher se kaha kay main nakal mar loon ?
teacher nay kaha tum naqal maroo per hum tu asal hi marain gay.
Different Voices during fucking time,
Russia:”O shema fu”
USA:”Yah fuck my ass”
China:”O chu ma shu”
India:”Oui maa”
In case of Pathan: “Kona Teenga Ka”
Duniya mein sab se himmat wala kaun?
“Dhobi” q k wo kabhi bhi kisi ke ghar jaa kar bol sakta hai.
Sahib bibi ji ko bolo kapde nikal kar rakhe mein abhi aa ke leta hu.
2 WOMEN TALKs
1st: Roz subah, mera dudhwala bahut dabata hai-BELL
2nd : mera to paperwala achcha hai, bilkul nahi dabata,
niche se hi dal deta hai-Paper…
Q: What is the similarity b/w ELECTION
& SEX?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans: Dono mein umeedwar ‘KHARA’ hota hy
2 aurton ne driving sikhna shru ki,
Jb 2no k husband apas may milay 2 ek bola
Meri BV ko pata nhi kya hogaya hy
Raat ko sote hue mera pakar kr kehti hy..
“1st gear 2nd gear”
Dosra bola Ye tu kuch b nhi hy
Meri BV tu sotay may dono tangen khol kr
kehti hy 500 ka dalo.
Meera nai suicide ka plan banaya or
railway line pe dono taangen khol kar
late gai.
Next day GEO per khabar aayi:
Shalimar Express kal se ghayeb hai.
Sardar: Kitne paise lo gi?
Girl: Bed 500, Sofa 200, Zameen pe 100.
Sardarne 500 diye.
Girl: Yani Bed pe?
Sardar: Nahi 5 baar Zameen pe.
Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?
A pink rose with loveley details.
And after sex?
Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?
Aurat doctor se: mera pati mujh se sex nhi krta.
doctor: ye 1 goli roz khilana.
aurat ne 1 goli pati ko di to rat ko pati ne sex kia,
aglay din usne 2 goli di to pati ne khub josh se sex kia,
3esray din aurat ne puri botel ki goliyan chai may mila kr khila di…
3 din bad doctor ne aurat k betay se haal chal pucha to
Beta bola : ammi mer gai hain chachi hospital may hai nokrani ne papa pe rape ka muqadma kr dia hai.
or meri g**nd abi b dukh rhe hai.
choot chorangi per ek choot ne khud kush hamla kiya
14 chootein halak 10 lund zakmi 22 topay khul gaey
40 MAMAY la pata AUR kai jhantin sulag gaein police ki
foran karwai se 19 TATTAY PAKRAY GAEY baqi tattay farar
sms miltay he under ground hojao
2 lund flim ka tickat laytay hai pehla lund dosre se bolta hai yar
flim sexy na hoo
dosra lund : kio bay
pehla lund : salay nahi to sari flim kharay ho kar daykhna parhay ga
Blind wife during sex ye kya hai? Husband: Ye taaty hain! Wife:Ye ander nhi jaty? Husband:Nhi ye bahr rehty hain Wife: Tumhare marzi bas andhi mohtaj ka haq na marna
Sardar running behind bus, and finaly catches it n asks driver,
ye bus teri ma lagti hai ? Nahi.
Behan lagti? Nahi… biwi ? nahi. To sala chadne kyu nahi deta!!
JUDGE :- aap apni patni se talaq kyon chahate hai ?
PATI : - Main patni ke sath Bistar par khush nahi hu,
PATNI :- (gusse me ):- jab sara mohalla khush hai to tum kyon nahi!!!
BUSH AIK SARDAR SE:YAHAN BAAT BAAT PER BHENCHOD Q BOLTE HAIN IS KA KIYA MATLAB HAI?
SARDAR:IS KA MATLAB HAI WATAN SE MOHABBAT KARNE WALA.
BUSH INDIA AAKAR BOLA:BAHART K BHENCHODO,MAIN BHI AIK BHENCHOD HOON LEKIN GANDHI SE BARA BHENCHOD MAIN NAY NAHI DEKHA
A boy donated blood 2 his GF. Kuch din bad ladai ho gayi.Boy ne apna khoon manga to girl ne apna whisper uske muh pr mara aur boli-monthly instalmnt me milega.
Pehle KISS karo,
phir PALANG per leta do,
phir CHADDI utar do,
phir NICHE haath lagao,
.
.
.
.
Aur check karo k
BABY ne SU SU to nahi kiya na
English
Sex is evil and evil's a sin. but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck in!!
________________________________________
Urdu
Hila zor se hila hila pura hila dil se hila sabke samne hila jitna hilaogay utna
maza ayega warana halwa jal jayega:P
________________________________________
Urdu
ferrari asked foxi : tumhari ankhain kyun bahar nikli hue hain ?
foxi replied :agar tumhara engine tumhare gand main laga dain tu tumhari ankhain bhee bahar nikal aayain gi.
________________________________________
Urdu
conductor : bachcay ka full ticket lage ga!
lady : yeh tu abhi nipple chusta hai!
conductor : wo tu is ka baap bhi choosta hai, tu kya uska bhi aadha loo gi ?
________________________________________
English
imtehan main aik larki nay teacher se kaha kay main nakal mar loon ?
teacher nay kaha tum naqal maroo per hum tu asal hi marain gay.
________________________________________
English
Na chahat hai sitaron ki, Na tamanna hai nazaroon ki, Bas aap jaisa dost mil
jaye
MAA CHOD DAIN GEY SAROON KI.
________________________________________
English
Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.
________________________________________
English
Peter Peter Pumpkin eater had a wife & liked to beat her smacked her twice around da head F**ked her arse & went 2 bed! Adult Funny sms
________________________________________
English
A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!
________________________________________
English
A teacher asked "wot part of the body goes to heaven first?" A child replied "feet" - coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!
________________________________________
English
A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts, who opens her heart receives love, who opens her legs receives happiness .
________________________________________
English
Mobilink regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u. We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u not even a network.
________________________________________
English
23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 cock that cant "crow" dont laff ladies?? UR PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE
________________________________________
English
Why do women have orgasms during sex??? It gives them something to moan about even when they are fuc***g enjoyin themselves
________________________________________
English
Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
________________________________________
English
Types of arse ...
(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!
Types of arse ...
(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!! .
________________________________________
English
HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub tease pamper console worship respect & love. HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job
________________________________________
English
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Tuition pe masti
Hi friends, Main Ashok Kumar (jaipur) phir aapk samne hazir hu aapne ek or dushre story lake ke jisne meri story padhi unko thanks meri story kafi famour hui isliye kafi mailaaye or mujhe or story likhne ke himat mile thnks frinds. Waise friends aap sub mujhe jante hain to jahada mujhe aapne bare main bhate ki jarurat nai hain. Okchalo story k taraf chalet hain. Baat us samay ki hai jab main std. Collage me padha karta tha. Main English ke tution ke liye ek sir ke ghar jata tha. Hum log 5 dost ek sath jate the. Teacher hum sab ko dophar 3 baje bulate the aur 5 baje chorte the. Hum log roj tution jate the. Sir bhi shadi sudha the aur sir ki biwi ek dam mast thi aur bahut hi khubsurat thi. Jis din se maine use dekha tha, mai bus usi ke bare main sochta tha. Uska naam rupa tha. Woh ek Bengali teacher thi. Main aapko bata dun, ki rupa every afternoon apne bedroom me soti thi aur sir hume hall me padate the. Uske uthne ka time 4.30 p.m. Tha. Woh har roj 4.30 ke lagbhag so kar uthti thi aur gown pehan kar bathroom ke liye jati thi jo ek common bathroom tha, hall me. Hum jaahan padhte the woh place bathroom ke just pass hi thi. Aur woh toilet karti thi to uske mut itna pressure ke saath nikalta tha ki uski aawaz humare kaano tak jati thi. Bus yahi tamanna maan me hoti thi ke ek baar uske saath sex karne ko mil jaye to zindagi haseen ho jaye. Aise hi din guzarte gaye, aur kuch din baad humare sir jo waahan ki ek school me teacher the, unka transfer ho gaya. Tabhi sir ne hume kaaha ki unka transfer ho gaya hai is liye hum kisi aur teacher ka bandobast kar len. Fir sir ne ek option aur rakha, ki unki biwi bhi wohi subject padhati hai, agar hum chahe to unse tution le sakte hain. Kyunki sir ka transfer tremporary basis par huwa tha aur unhe abhi family le jane ka order aur flat nahi mila tha. Isi liye sir akele ja rahe the. Mere sabhi doto ne mana kar diya aur dusre teacher ko join kar liye. Magar main Rupa madam se tution lene ko raji ho gaya. Sir ne bhi mujhe thanx kaha. Jab sir jane lage to unhone mujhe kuch bate batai ki main apni teacher ka dhyan rakhun, agar unhe koi chiz chahiye to unhe la du, etc. Etc. Aur maine sir ko bharosha dilaya ki main aisa hi karunga. Fir sir chale gaye. Madam ghar me ek dum akeli. Unko koi bachha bhi nahi tha. Fir main madam se tution lena suru kar diya aur kuch hi din me main madam ka dost bhi baan gaya aur madam meri dost ban gai. Main madam ka bahut khayal rakhta tha aur madam mujhe ek student ki tarah bahut pyar bhi karti thi. Dhire dhire 1 month bit gaya. Fir ek din maine madam se kaaha madam aapko sir ki yaad nahi aati, madam ne kaaha yaad to bahut aati hai magar koi aur raasta bhi to nahi hai. Fir maine madam ko himmat karke kaha madam ek baat puchu to madam ne kaaha tum mujhse kuch bolo usse pehle main tumhe ek baat bolna chahti hun. To madam ne kaaha ki “jab hum dono ek dusre ka itna khyal rakhte hain aur dost bhi hain to fir aajse tum mujhe madam nahi balki rupa bologe. Aur waise bhi tum pure din mere ghar me hi to rahte ho is liye mujhe madam sun na achha nahi lagta.” Main razi ho gaya. Fir rupa ne kaha ki tum kuch puch rahe the to maine bahut himmat kar ke kaaha ki rupa fir main chup ho gaya aur aadhi baat me hi ruk gaya. To rupa boli kya baat hai aur maine kuch nahi kaaha. Fir usne mujhe apni kasam di aur boli kaho na nahi to mujse baat mat karna aur mujhse tution bhi mat padhne aana. Maine fir kaha ki tum bura to nahi manogi to usne kaha nahi fir main bola ki tumhe kya sex karne ka maan nahi karta. Aisa kehne par rupa chup ho gayi aur meri taraf ascharya se dekhi. Main dar gaya tha aur maine use sorry kaha to usne kaha ki tumhe sorry nahi balki mujhe tumhe thanx kehna chahiye. Tumhe mera kitna khayal hai aur mere pati ko mera zara sa bhi khayal nahi. Aur usne mujhe mere gaal par ek kiss diya. Fir humne saath me dinner kiya aur main apne gharr chala gaya. Fir kuch din baad, main ek din rupa ke ghar gaya magar woh ghar me dikhai nahi de rahi thi. Main har ek rum dekhh raha tha magar woh kaahin nahi thi fir maine ek bathroom ka gate khola aur maine woh dekha jo maine kabhi socha bhi nahi tha. Bathroom ka gate lock nahi tha aur jaise hi maine gate khola to dekha ki rupa apne bathroom ke comod pain me baithi thi. Uska gown, bra aur panty paas hi me rakhe the. Woh ek dam nude thi aur usne apne left hand ki tin ungli apne chut me ghusa rakhi thi aur right hand se apni chochi ko daba rahi thi. Uski aankhe band thi aur woh maza le rahi thi. Main kareeb 5 minute tak bina kuch kahe use dekhta raha. Mera land pura khada aur hard ho gaya tha aur mera maan kar raha tha ki abhi use chod dun. Magar maine apne aap ko sambhala kar rakha. Kuch der baad maine kaaha rupa yeh kya! Rupa bilkul dar gai aur apni ungli bahar nikal kar apne gown se apne jism ko dhakne lagi aur meri taraf dekhti hui apne room me chali gai. Main hall me ek sofa par baith gaya. Kuch der baad woh kapde pehan kar bahar aayi aur mere pass baith gai aur kehne lagi. Tumhe kya pata ek shaadi shuda aurat itne din apne pati ke bagair kaise rah sakti hai. Sex to har ek ko chahiye aur aisa kah kar mujh se lipat kar rone lagi. Fir maine use sambhala. Fir usne mujhe yeh baat kisi se nahi kehne ko kaha, uske pati se bhi nahi. Mai razi ho gaya. Fir maine kaaha ki agar tumhe sex ki itni hi chahhat hai to main tumhari yeh chahat puri kar sakta hun. Aisa kehne par woh aur zor se mujhse lipat gai aur mujhe fir se ek chummi di aur kaaha “saach? Kya tum mujhe pyar karoge. Aur mere pati ko bhi nahi bataoge. Tum kitne aache ho”. Aisa keh kar woh mujhe chumne lagi aur main bhi use kas kar apni baahon me dabane laga. Aur kuch der tak hum waise hi rahe. Fir main jaane ki liye uthne laga to usne kaaha kahan ja rahe aur. Mujhe kab pyar karoge. Maine kaaha main shaam ko 8 baje aaunga. Aur fir chala gaya. Main shaam ko uske ghar pahuncha aur andar gaya to dekha ki usne ek bahut hi sundar transparent saree pahen rakhi hai. Uski badi badi choochi uske blouse se bahar aane ko tarap rahi the. Uska pet pura dikhai de raha tha. Kyunki woh shaadi shudha thi, uska jism pura hara bhara tha. Aur mujhe aisi hi aurat aachi lagti thi. Uski kamar badi badi thi aur gol bhi thi. Woh puri gori nahi thi par uska rang bahut hi mast tha. Woh bahut hi sundar aur garam aurat thi. Uska hooth bade bade aur aankh moti moti thi. Uski ungli lambi lambi thi. Woh sar se pair tak chodne layak thi. Use dekh kar aisa lagta tha jaise woh chudwane ke liye bilkul taiyar hai. Woh mujhe apne kamre me le gai aur apna bedroom lock kar liya. Uske baal khule the. Maine use kaha, ki aaj main use har tarah se khus aur uski sex ki garmi ko thanda kar dunga. Woh muskura kar boli chalo dekhte hain. Uske aisa kehne par mera land aur garam ho gaya. Aur maine use apni baahon me bhar liya aur uske hooton ko chumne laga. Fir maine use bed par bithaya aur uske pat par apna haanth ferne laga. Woh bhi fir josh me aane lagi aur mere sir ke baal ko sehlane lagi. Maine uski choonchiyon ko apne ek haanth se jor se pakar liya aur dabane lagi. Woh pehle to thora dard se karari fir shant ho gai and main unhe dabata raha aur aisa karte karte uske saree ke pallo ko upar se gira diya. Aur dihre dhire uski saree khol di. Woh apne lehange me aur blouse me thi. Fir usne mere shirt , aur pant ko utar diya. Main sirf underpant me tha. Usne mujhe bed par leta diya aur mere upar so gayi aur meri chati ko chumne aur chatne lagi. Uske aisa karne par mujhe laga ki yeh puri experienced hai. Aur mujhe fir uske chut ki garmi ka bhi aandaza ho gaya. Woh mujhe kuch der tak chumti rahi aur kaaha ki tum meri choochi ka maza nahi lena chahte aur aisa kehta kehte usne apna blouse utar diya. Uski dono bari bari chonchi ko dekh kar main hairan rah gaya. Uski nipple brown rang ki thi aur uski chochi ka Rang bilkul gora tha. Maine use ekbar me bed par leta diya aur uske upar char kar uski ek chochi ko chusne laga aur doosri ko dabane laga. Woh zor se aahain bharne lagi aur mujhe aur zor se dabane ko kaha.maine aisa hi kiya. Usne mere sir ko piche se pakad kar jor se apne chochi par ragarne lagi. Aisa lagta tha jaise woh apni puri choochi mere muh me bhar dena chahti hai. Kuch dar baad maine uske lehange ka nada khol diya aur use utar kar fed diya. Woh ek sundar fulo wali pink rang ki panty pehani hui thi. Use dekh kar aisa lag raha tha ki aabhi apna garam land uske chut me ghusa du. Uski gori janghe moti moti aur achi shape me thi. Maine use pucha ki tum apne pati ke sath sex kaise karti ho.To usne kaha ki woh mujhe jyada maza nahi dete. Meri choochi ko kuch der chuste hain aur apna land mere chut me dal dete hain aur kuch hi der me jhad jate hain. Mujhe to jharne ka mauka hi nahi milta. Tumne mujhe jis din bathroom me ungli karte dekha tha woh to me unke hoti hue bhi karti hun. Maine kaaha aur kuch nahi karti ho. Usne kaaha aur hota hi kya hai. To maine use kaha ki tumhe to abhi bahut kuch sikhna baaki hai. Usne kaha sach, agari aisa hai to jaldi karo na.aur aisa kehne par maine uski panty ko dhire dhire utar diya. Maine use bilkul nangi kar diya tha. Maine pehli baar kisi aurat ki chut ko aise dekha tha. Uska chut bilkul kada tha. Uspar halke halke brown rang ke baal charo taraf the. Maine fir apna underpant utara to mera bhi mota aur 7” lambd land dekh kar woh boli ki aise land se chudwane ka maza mujhe pehli baar aayga. Maine kaha ise taste karna chahogi. Usne kaha mujhe chin aaygi. To maine kaha kar ke to dekho.fir maine use bina kuch kahe uske dono pair ko chora kiya aur uske pairo ke bich baith kar uski chut me ek chummi de di. Aisa kehne par usne kaha, tum aisa mat karo. Tumhe ghin aaygi. Maine kaha, isi me to sara maaza hai. Aur fir maine use apni jib se chatna suru kiya aur ungli se usko failne laga.. Aisa karne par use bahut dard ho raha tha. Usne mujhe aisa nahi kehne ko kaha magar main kaahan sunne walatha. Woh jor jor se siskiyan bhar rahi thi. Aur main puri jor se uske chut ko chus raha tha. Uske chut me ek bahut hi sundar khusboo aa rahi thi. Uska chut bohot garam tha. Main kareeb 15 minute tak uske chut ko chusta rah. Kuch der baad use aacha lagne laga. Maine usse puche aab kaisa lag raha hai to usne kaha aab kuch aacha lag raha hai. Maine fir apni do ungli uske garam chut me ghusa di magar uski chut itni kadi thi ki woh andar nahi jaa rahi thi. Main aap sab ko ek baat bata dun. Main bahut sari blue film dekhta hun aur mujhe maalom hai ki kis ladki ko kis tarah chodna chahiye. To chunki uski chut me meri ungli nahi ja rahi thi to main uske chut me apna thoda sa mut gira diya. Usne puch yeh kyun to maine kaaha yeh isliye taki tumhe dard nahi ho. Aur aisa karne par uski sukhi chut gili ho hai aur meri ungli aasani se andar chali gai aur main use jor jor se andar bahar karne laga. Aisa karte karte uska jism kaampne laga aur usne kaha ki tum apna muh aur ungli waahan se hata lo, main ab jhadne wali hun. Maine kaha main use pina chahta hun itna kehte kehte woh jhad gai aur mai uske pure ras ko pi gaya aur ek bund bhi nahi giraya. Usne kaha tumne mujhe bahut santust kiya hai aur main bhi aab tumhara land chusna chahti hun. Usne bhi mera land apne muh me liya aur uski chamri ko piche kar ke uske andar wale sensitive part ko apne jin se lagarne lagi. Mujhe bahut maza aa raha tha. Woh mera pura 7” lamba land apne muh me lena chahti thi. Uske chuste kuch der baad main bhi jhadne wala tha is liye maine apna land uske muh se nikalna chaha magar woh bhi wahi karna chahti thi jo maine kiya magar mere thoda tan ne se mera land uske muh se bahar nikal gaya aur main wahi jhad gaya aur mera sar ras uske pure muh me pichkari ki tarah chitak gaya, kuch uske hooton par, kuch uske gaal par aur charo taraf. Woh us pure ras ko apne hooton aur ungli se chatne lagi aur uska pura maza lene lagi.. Fir usne mujhe thanx kaha aur mere land ko apne hooton se chat kar saaf kar diya. Aur aab mujhe apna land uske chut me ghusane ko kaaha. Maine aisa hi kiya . Maine dhire dhire apne land Ko uske chut me ghusane laga magar uske ghusne se pehle hi woh chikh pari. Fir maine thoda aur jor lagaya aur 4” uske chut me dala . Uska dard aur bhargaya. Woh aur jor se chatpatane lagi aur mujhe bus karne ko kaha. Usne kaha “mere pati ka land to sirf 5” ka hi hai aur aab main tumhara 9” lamba land kaise ghusaungi.” Maine kaaha tum uski chinta mat karo aur ek aur jhatka lagaya aur mera 7” land uske chut me sama gaya. Uski aankhon se aansun nikal pade magar main ruka nahi aur dhire dhire pura land uske chut me dal diya. Uska chut bahut garam tha. Main apne land ko andar bahar karta raha. Kuch der baad use bhi maza aane laga aur woh bhi mera saath dene lagi. Woh apni kamar ko mere saath saath aage piche karne lagi. Chunki hum dono aabhi aabhi jhade the is liye dobara itni jaldi jhadna mumkin nahi tha. Is liya maza aur jyada aane laga. Aisa karte karte kuch der baad woh jhar gayi. Uski garam chut gili ho gai. Aur woh shant par gai. Magar mai ruka nahi aur main use chodta raha. Usne mujhe aab rukne ko kaha magar main ruka nahi aur apna kaam karta raha. Lagbhag 10 minute ke baad main bhi jhad gaya aur maine apna pura maal uski chut me gira kar shant ho kar uski baahon me soo gaya. Woh mujhe chumti rahi aur mere upar let gai. Kuch der baad maine use kaahan, aabhi to aur ek maza baaki hai. Usne kaaha woh kya. To maine kaaha, aabhi main tumhari gaand marunga jisme tumhe bahut maaza aayga. Use uske bare me kuch nahi malum tha. Use laga isme bhi bahut maza aayga aur woh razi ho gai. Fir maine use uske bed ke ek kone me kutte ki tarah khade hone ko kaha aur uske dono haanth bed ke upar rakh diye. Uska pair zameen par aur uski kamar bich me. Firmaine uske muh me apni land dal di taki woh kuch gili ho jai. Fir main apne hooton se uski gaand chatne laga aur use puri tarah gili kar diya. Use aacha lag raha tha. Fiir maine aapna land aapni haanto me lekar uske gaand ke ched par lagaya aur apne haantho se pakar kar ek dhakka mara. Mere dhakke marte hi woh chikh pari aur kaha mujhe bahut dard ho raha. Maine kaaha thoda sahan karo. Pehli baar hai na. Aur fir baar baar dhakka lagata raha, baar baar woh chikhti rahi aur baar baar mera land kuch aandar jata raha. Aisa karte karte mera lannd 4” andar chala gay. Usne mujhse rote hue use chor dene ko kaha. Magar maine use samjhaya ki bus kuch der baad hi use maza aayag. Aisa kehne par woh maan gai aur maine fir ek jordar dhakka laga kar apna land 1.5” aur andar thela. Aisa karte karte mera pura ka pura land uski gand me ghus gaya aur woh jor jor se siskiyan bharne lagi. Fir maine apna land andar bahar kana suru kiya aur kuch der baad usebhi maza aane laga . Fir maine uski chooochi ko piche se pakar kar dabane laga aur uski gand bhi marne laga. Aisa karte karte main fires jhad gaya aur apna pura ras uski gand me dal diya. Aur fir use bed me lekar let gaya aur uski choochi choosne laga. Fir main bed par let gaya aur use maine apni land par baithaya aur rupa ne dhire dhire mera sara land apni gand me ghuswa liya. Woh mere land par nachne lagi aur maza lene lagi . Usne fir apni lambi ungli ki bade bade nails se mere gand ke aas paas ke area ko kharochne lagi. Aisa karne par mujhe bahut aaram lag raha tha. Fir usne merri gand ke ched par apne muh ka thuk giraya aur apni ungli mere muh se gili kar ke meri gand me apni ungli ghusane lagi . Mujhe pehli baar bahut dard huwa aur kuch der baad maza aane laga aur woh kareeb 15 min. Tak aisa karti rahi. Aisa karte karte hum dono kab soo gaya hume maloom hi nahi chala. Fir subah hui aur hum dono ek dusre ki jism se lipte hue uthe. Aur jab bhi mauka milka main use din me bhi chodne lagta. Hum dono fir har roz ek saath sone lage aur maine use har ek pose me choda aur maza diya. Hum bluefilm bhi sath dekhte aur us style me ek dusre ko chodte. Maine uski gand mar mar kar uski kamar ko chowda kar diya tha jisse woh aur bhi sundar lagti thi. Maine apni ek purani khawis bhi puri karni chahi. Maine use kaaha ki jab main sir se padhta tha aur jab tum dophar ko sone ke baad toilet karne jati thi to tumhara pressure sunkar mujhe tumhare chut ko chatne ka maan karta tha. Tab usne kaaha ki tum apni icha aabhi puri kar lo. Aur fir woh bathroom me gai, usne mutna suru kiya usi pressure ke saath aur maine uske mut te hue apna muh uske chut se satya. Uska sara mut mere muh par girne laga aur main uska maza lene laga. Is tarah jab mera maan karta main rupa ko chodne lagta aur woh bhi puri chahat ke sath mujhse chudwati. Fir kabhi. To dosto mujhe zaroor batan ki meri yeh story aapko kaisi lagi. Aur maine rupa ko satisfy karke aacha kiya ki nahi. Aunties aur ladkiyan mujhse dosti karma chahe to all are welcome. Ladkiyan aur aunties bhi mujhe contact karengi to mujhe bahut aacha lagega. Mera e-mail id hai damis2d@yahoo.com
Dost ki Behen ki chudai
HI i am Mahesh .22yars old student of b.com in punjaban college faisal abad.i am 6" hight and good looking guy.dear friends ajj main ap ko apni zandgi ka khoobsurat pal batany ja raha hoon. Yeh un dino ki baat hai jab main nay apnay part 1st ke exams khatam kiye thay.main roozana sham ko apnay dost key ghar jata tha jahan per hum dono bedminton khela kartay thay.meray dost ki 3 sisters hain.2 marrisd hain aur sab se choti 2nd year main parti hai.she was a preetist girls i have seen in my life.she has height 5.7" and nice complexion.her boobs are highly developed.But i never thought about her.main nahi janta tha key woh mujh main interestd hai. Aik din ghar per beetha bore ho raha tha socha chalo ahmad(my friend,s name)ke ghar chaltay hain jab main uis ke ghar giya tu uis ke chooki dar nay batay ke sahab abhi bahar gay hain aur annay walay hain.yeh sun ke main wapas apni car main a ker baith giya. Abhi main wahan per baith hi tha key ahmad ki chooti bahn driver key saath college se wapas a gai.mujahy dekh ker boli sher dil why are you standing out dorr plz come in.main uis ke saath ander a giya.woh mujhay sitting room main baitha ker kapray change karnay chalay gai uis ki naukrani meray liye pepsi ley ker ai.meray poochnay per uis nay batay key ghar per koi nahi hai.main nay uis se kaha key woh jaye.10 minute kay bad uzma(ahmad,s sister name)wapas a gai she worn a tight dress.uis ke boobs saf dikh rahay thay.woh meray pass 20 minute kay liye baithi aur phir chali gai.jab woh wapas ai tu uis kay haath main juice kay 2 glass thay.aik uis nay khud ley liya aur aik mujhay dey diya.hum dono sip karnay lagay.jab main nay juice khatam kar liya tu mera sir bhari ho giya aur mujhay neend annay lagi.isssi waqat uzma meray paas ai aur meray saath baith gai aur kehnay lagi.i love you sher dil. Yeh kehnay ke bad woh mujh se lipt gai.after this mujahy khuch pata nahi chala and after hafl and hour when i awake i saw that i am on the bed.jab mujahy puri tarha hosh aya tu main nay uzam ko apnay samnay paya she was only in bra and panty.i ask what are she doing.uis nay kaha jo karna chahiye yeh keh ker woh bed per a gai.uis nay mujhay chomna shuro kar diya.main nay kaha uzma yeh thik nahi hai.she said she loves me.yeh keh ker uis nay apnay lips meray lips per rakh diye.she was really hot.now she began to suck my tongue.I am also getting hot.mera lund lohay ki tarah hota ja raha tha.aihsta aihsta main nay apnay hath uis key boobs per rakh diye uis ke mun se "ahh" ki awaz nikali main nay uis ke boobs ko dubana shura ker diya aur uis ne meri t shirt utar di.ab mujah se bhi bardasht nahi ho raha tha main nay uis ka bra nikal diya ab uis ke boobs puri tarah tannay hovay meray samnay thay.aur main un ko apnay mun main le kar choos raha tha.Uzma key mun se aaahhhhh… ki awazain a rahi theen.5 minute tak main uis key boobs ko choosta raha.iss ke bad main nay uis ki panty bhi utar di aur woh puri tarah nangi meray samnay khari thi.uis ki shaved pussy abhi tak virgin thi.main nay uis ki pussy ko hath lagya tu uis nae ankheen band ker leen.main ney uis ki pussy ko rubb karna shura ker diya tu uis ne zor se mera sir pakra aur aonay boobs per rakh diya. Iss key bad uis ney apna hath meray lund per rakha ayr pent ker upper se hi rubb karna shuro ker diya.ohir uis ne meri pent uttar di aur apnay mun se under wear bhi uttar diya.mera lund bilkul tanna huva tha mera khara lund dekh ker woh heran reh gai aur uis ka mun khula hi reh giya.jab woh mun khol ker meray lund ko dekh rahi thi tabhi main nay apna lund uis ke mun main dal diya.uis nay aihsta aihsta choosna shuro ker diya.main nay apna lund uis ke mun main aggay se aggay karna shuro ker diya.jab uis nay kaha ke ab bas aur nahi jata tu main nay uis ker sir pakar ker aik zor ke jhatkay se apna sara lund uis ke mun main dal diya.10 minute kay bad jab main khatam hoonay laga tu uis nay lund ko bahar nikalan chaha per main nay uis ka sir pakar ker phir sara lund uis ke andar ker diya aur Meri sari mini uis key throat main chali gai.lakin main ne apna lund uis ke mun main hi rakha aur uis se Chooswta raha khuch der bad mera lund phir se khara ho giya. Ab main chair per baith giya aur apnay lund per tale ki malash karwanay laga khch der bad main nay uzma ko bed per lita diya aur apna lund uis ki phuddi main dalnay laga uis ki pussy boohat tight thi main nay jab toda sa lund uis ki pussy main dala tu uis ne zor se dard ki wajah se chilana shuroo ker diya lakin main nay apna kam jari rakha.aur aihsta aihsta apna pura lund aggay ki taraf karta raha.uis ki pussy se khoon nikal chuka tha ab uis ki dard kam ho gai tu uis nay kaha sher dil aur zor se karo main nay apni speed barha di aur uis ke mun se ki awaz annay lagi. Phir main a ker chair per baith giya aur uis ko kaha key woh meray lund pe a ker baitahy.uis ney aisa hi kiya aur iss tarah karnay se mera pura lund uis ki choot main chala giya.ab uzma ko bhi maza annay la tah aur woh bhi zor zor se chuda rhai thi.10 minute tak aisay chodnay key bad main nay uis ko doogystyle main choda.phir jab main over honay laga tu main nay apna lund nikal ker uis ke mun main day diya aur woh mera sara cum pi gai.uis ke bad uis nay mujhay aik mouthful blow job diya. Abhi tak ahmad nahi aya tha main uis ko kal annay ka keh ker chala giya iss kay bad jab bhi mujay moka milta main uzma ko chodta.lakin aik din uzma ki mamoon ki beeti huma ko pata chal giya tu uzma nay mujahy huma ko bhi chodnay kay liye kaha.phir main nay huma uzma aur un ki naukrani jo kay abhi 21 saal ki thi teeno ko akhta choda. If any girl or aunty in faisal abad want sex can contect me my e_mail address is sharmamahesh_1@yahoo.com
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